


Miles Away

by johnmaine (thefifthjohn), poserpaste



Category: All Time Low (Band), The Maine (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Cockblocking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Past Child Abuse, Phone Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, The Maine - Freeform, Wet Dream, all time low - Freeform, let pat kirch say fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-04-04 00:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 23,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14008518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefifthjohn/pseuds/johnmaine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/poserpaste/pseuds/poserpaste
Summary: I settle for long distance calls.---John and Alex meet over Twitter and something special forms between the two of them. Neither of them know what they’re getting into.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Like the idiot I am, I accidentally deleted this. So here we go! Round two.

_**@johnmaine:** _   
_I refuse to be infected by the ignorance and fear that's currently swirling in the atmosphere._

The notification flashed across Alex Gaskarth's phone screen as he scrolled through his Instagram one night, boredom slowly getting to him.

The tweet grabs his attention, luckily, considering the account was one of his favorites. It had been since 2012, and he had looked back and liked (and most of the times) retweeted all the tweets.

Of course he had to have its notifications on.

Alex often wondered about the person behind the tweets – all that he knew was it was a guy, and his name was John and that he was from Arizona; the bio said AZ, even if his username did throw Alex off at first.

Just like he usually does, Alex clicks on the notifications as soon as he can, reading over it a few times before clicking like and retweet. A smile graces his face, and he can't help but even type out a reply, something his anxiety kept him from doing most of the time.

_**@johnmaine** all of your tweets and poetry leaves me speechless, how do you do it??_

Considering that this guy barely tweeted people back, followed nobody, and had no media or liked tweets, Alex wasn't expecting for a notification saying John O.C.V followed you to flash across the bottom of his screen, and he figures that this just has to be a mistake, but when he checks the 0 next to following has turned to a 1. Was it an accident? If not, what was different about him? He was baffled, his jaw actually slack at what he just happened.

Alex expected the words ‘ _follows you_ ’ next to John's user to disappear, so he keeps his app open for a few more minutes but it remains, and suddenly Alex is happier than he's been in a while.

Was this really happening right now?

Before Alex can process this, he gets a DM, and while he's expecting it to be someone that occasionally sends him memes, it's John. Fucking John. Again. He was scared to open it, but with shaky fingers he clicks the small button, and then reads over the short, but kind, message.

_Thanks for all the support. I always see you in my notifications._

Another one comes through before Alex can type anything, one that makes him laugh. He knew John was silly sometimes, but he never experienced it first hand. Of course he didn't.

_Vibe up, my dude._

He can't help but snort as he reads it, and then while he begins typing something that would probably mark the end of their interactions already, another message pops up. This one nearly makes his heart stop.

_Love your tweets. Let's talk sometime. Intellectual on intellectual. Jk I'm actually secretly an idiot._

Or not. Maybe this could mean Alex would be friends with someone he's followed and had some sort of strange crush on forever. Just that thought has him nearly pissing himself, both from laughter and happiness, and he can't even think of a way to reply.

He decides to leave it for a moment while he calms down, taking deep breaths, and then he hunches over on his bed, eyes squinting as he types out his own message.

_haha, i'm an idiot too. but you don't seem like one. i would love to talk to you, you don't know how much i'd love it. i kinda adore everything you have to say._

He's scared that this is too straightforward, maybe borderline creepy, but when John replies he feels the anxiety in his body slowly fade.

_Apparently, I adore what you have to say... you're the only person I follow, after all._

That was true, Alex thinks to himself, though he's not quite sure what's so special about himself. He won't think too much about it, though, instead taking note on how John always seems to have perfect punctuation and almost perfect grammar. It's something that's pretty rare on the internet these days.

_that's true lmao. i'm still kind of shocked._

_Would you say you're what the kids call 'shook'?_

Another round of laughter erupts from Alex, and he lays back on his bed, pulling the blue fleece blanket over his torso. He hadn't been aware of the humour that John actually had, and he was loving it. He hoped to continue having this in his life, not just this one night.

He could get used to it and having somebody as sarcastic as him in his life, if he was being honest.

His life didn't consist of too many friends at the moment, just three from school, and lately they had been busy with other things, like sports and their academics. Alex was somehow keeping his grades up high enough, and so he wasn't as concerned.

That being said, connecting with someone new, and someone he could potentially have a special bond with was, in his mind, smart. He was hoping not to fuck this up or scare John away already. Or bore him. Either would break his heart – or at least hurt and embarrass him or something.

Although he could try to think of something better to say, he decides on just continuing to say the first thing he thinks, and in his opinion, the conversations going pretty well.

_yeah, i'm pretty shook. i really didn't expect for you to follow me at all, and to talk to me?? dude, this is like some kind of dream._

_Would you say it's a good dream?_

yeah, i'd say it's the best dream i've ever had.

_Well, it's an honor that I’ve given you that, alex. I’m excited to talk to you and see all the kinds of things that you tweets. Before this, all I had were a bunch of ads and suggestions. Seeing your tweets on my timeline will make the twitter experience much more enjoyable for me._

Reading over this, a wide smile immediately appears on Alex’s face again. He couldn't believe any of this was happening, and that message? It made his heart warm, as well as his cheeks. He's not even quite sure how to respond to it.

_dude, that's too sweet of you. i may or may not be blushing._

Alex takes a moment to look at the time, and when he notices that it's a minute to two, he curses quietly to himself. He has school in the morning, and he has to be up early. He also can't miss anymore days, or his morning classes.

_as much as i love talking to you, i have school in the morning, and i can't really afford to sleep through it again._

_ill message you in the morning tho._

As much as Alex wants to, he doesn't keep his phone in his hands long enough to see the message John sends in response. As Alex closes his eyes and rolls over onto his side, his phone lights up one last time with a message from a somewhat disappointed John.

_Sleep tight, man. Can't wait to talk to you tomorrow._

_Don't message me before 9 your time. I need my beauty sleep. #dontwakedaddy._


	2. Chapter Two

Over the next couple days, John and Alex talk quite a bit, much to Alex’s surprise. That, and his obvious glee. Alex would constantly message the other boy during school, more than he’d ever been on his phone during class, and the same went for John. John, who hated to use his phone. Thankfully, no teachers or other students cared or commented on it so far. He wasn’t even sure they had noticed.

However, despite their constant discussion, John was still a complete mystery to Alex.

“Daddy’s woke!” was the very first thing that John sent when they talked the next morning, and funnily enough, this was how both their conversations seemed to start. At least, until Friday morning, when things seemed to change. The older boy had messaged John good morning and everything at the usual time, but John hadn’t responded at all, or sent any sort of message. There had been no sign of him being awake or alive.

It was weird to Alex, and he was sort of scared that he had done something wrong.

He lets the message sit for a couple more hours, considering the time zone between them, before he gives in and sends another message.

_John? are you alright?_

Surprisingly, an answer came through only five minutes later, the concern growing more each passing second - John is usually fast with his replies, unless he’s in class.

_Yeah. I’m fine._

It was stiff, much more so than he was really used to.

He goes to type back when he gets another notification, New tweet from John O.C.V. Immediately, Alex clicks on the notification to read the tweet.

_**@johnmaine:** I am capable of anything, and right now that frightens me._

Alex isn’t really sure what to make of what John tweets, truthfully, especially after he said he was fine (though it wasn’t very convincing). But he does know that it worries him. He also knows something is up with the other boy almost right away, and he knows that he needs to help him through whatever he’s feeling. Even if they didn’t know each other for very long, something inside Alex made him care deeply for this new friend of his.

This time, for once, he doesn’t bother to like and retweet the tweet, and instead he clicks back to his messages.

_john??_

_i know you’re not okay._

_talk to me dude._

_:(_

Ten minutes later, after getting no sort of reply but a blue checkmark that marked the message being read, Alex finally gets something back.

I’m alive.

It’s definitely not the reply that Alex was looking for, and it’s pretty vague, but it’s better than nothing and maybe he could work with it. He just really cared about John for some reason.

  
_i would sure hope so._

_Haha._

  
_? :(_   
_talk to me son._

_You’re the son here._

  
_ok dad._

_Call me Papi Chulo, son._

_sugar daddy??? ok_

  
_Yep, that’s me._

  
_alright, that’s so raven._

_I never watched that._

_what the fuck john_   
_did you even have a childhood?_

_I spent it all on those eighties movies._

_so did i_   
_but i still made time for QUALITY television_   
_like didney._

_Did you mean quality garbage?_

_holy shit john._   
_fuckin brutal._

_What can I say? I’m a hardcore daddy._

_what’s up with all the daddy jokes anyways?_

_I’m a daddy. There’s nothing to joke about._

_holy shit how old is your kid???_

_I don’t have a child._

_then how are you a daddy??????_

_There’s other ways to be a daddy, Alex._

_like what?_

_That’s a story for when you get older, my son. Not today._

_:(((((( but dad_

_*Daddy._

Even though their conversation was pretty short and didn’t have much meaning to it, it was definitely cheering John up. It brought a smile that was very much needed to his face. It was making happier than he had been in a decent amount of time.

It seemed that Alex was good at that.

Somehow they talked through the day, and Alex could tell that his stupid jokes were making John feel at least the smallest amount better, and that’s really just what he wanted. He wanted the mysterious man to be feeling better, and not be down in the dumps all the time. His tweets reflected that there wasn’t much joy in John’s life currently, and he wanted to change that.

It was nearing the end of the night, and Alex’s eyes were getting heavier. He knew that he was about to fall asleep, and so before that happened he sent John one final message, smiling at the response that comes through almost immediately.

_my eyes ar egetting heavu ill talk to u tomorro_   
_:)_

_Goodnight, darling._   
_Sleep tight._   
_Don’t let the bed John’s bite. :/_

What Alex didn’t see until the very next morning when he picked his phone up (which had fallen out of his hand, and was nearly dead) was another new tweet from John. That itself was strange, since he almost never tweeted twice in a day.

@johnmaine:  
You’re not alone.


	3. Chapter Three

Saturday nights weren’t all that exciting to John. Neither was any other day of the week, but he never really took notice of how lonely or bored he was until it was the weekend and he was spending it alone.

It was his own fault, though. He had friends that invited him to go out, and this weekend in particular it had been two of his friends that were together, Pat and Kennedy. Maybe John would have accepted their offer to go bowling if it wasn’t going to be just them and then him, but he really didn’t feel like third wheeling. That might feel even worse than him spending his night sitting alone in bed, even Alex not responding to his messages.

Needless to say, his chest sort of hurt from him thinking about just how lonely he was right now.

There were too many thoughts in his mind to even keep track of, but there was one line really sticking out to him, and so he decides to do what he’s best at and what he always does - take his phone out and tweet it.

It only takes a second for him to tweet out the words.

Alex hadn’t been on his phone all night.

Instead, he was out at a party that his friend Jack had dragged him to. Not that he wasn’t having fun, though. Actually, it was the opposite. He had downed more shots than he could keep count of, he had one beer, and then he had taken a body shot of off Zack’s washboard abs with all of his buddies standing around and cheering him on.

That was pretty enjoyable for his little gay heart.

Now he was sitting on a couch watching a game of truth or dare with a beer in his hand. He’s interrupted by his phone vibrating in his pocket and he sighs, reaching forward to set his beer on the ground beside his feet. There was no doubt that the bottle would be forgotten about and knocked over in no time.

Reading over the screen with his eyes squinted, he sees a couple notifications from earlier in the day, and then he sees the one that had caused the vibration.

_**@johnmaine:** _   
_Why can’t you allow yourself to be happy?_

Of course Alex was concerned, but he was also way too drunk to process said concern, and instead he opens up his messages with John with no hesitation, fingers moving across his messages.

Across the country, John had been laying in bed with some sad indie music playing softly, checking his DMs with a certain brunette over and over with some hope that there would be a new message. He wasn’t quite sure why he kept checking or why he was so concerned with the other boy, but there was a tugging at his heart and a strong desire to talk to him.

Luckily, this time around, when he opens up the messages with Alex there are three circles, the ones indicating that hey, something was being typed out. That itself made John’s eyes go wide and his heart beat just a little faster than normal.

He had been waiting all day for something to come from Alex.

_whabgs wrong joohnathon ???_

  
_That’s not even my name._   
_Maybe I should be the one asking you that question._

_i ‘m ffiiiine lol._   
_s eei eveb asded a perido._

_You don’t really sound fine._

_but ya can’ t evven hesr me_

_Okay. But I can see that you really don’t seem fine._

  
_¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_   
_Johhn john jonh_   
_guess whst i did_

_What did you do._

_lmao itook a sho t offmy frind zacks WAHSBOARD AABS_   
_fuck???_   
_[mygay heart cant tae it_

_Huh._   
_Fun._

_aa reyou a homophione???_

_I’m gay._   
_So obviously not._

After John sends that message, he takes a moment to think. For some reason, after hearing about what Alex did, a pain crawls through his chest and he honestly just feels like crying. Which is big for him, because crying wasn’t really his thing.

He lets out a quiet sigh and wonders what exactly he got himself into following this kid.

Maybe tomorrow would be better though, and maybe Alex would feel bad and apologise, or something along those lines. He can’t, for some reason, stay mad for too long. He can still be somewhat salty about it though, and so he tweets again.

**_@johnmaine:_ **   
_It’s alright to be alone._

After tweeting that, he decides that he’ll try to go to bed earlier tonight instead of letting himself be alone and miserable.

Something inside of him makes him pull up those messages again, and he types one last thing out for the night before he sets his phone aside, not even wanting to hear (or see, really) anything that has to be said by Alex at this point. Not right now, at least.

_Be safe._   
_Don’t drink too much._   
_Or drink and drive._   
_Night._


	4. Chapter Four

Alex fucked up big time.

When Alex woke up, his surroundings were somewhat unfamiliar and his head was pounding, the sunlight pouring into the bedroom seeming to be brighter than it should have been. Upon looking around, he realises he must have fallen asleep at Jack’s. Which, he decides, was probably for the best. If he had even attempted to get home in his drunken state he was in last night, he would have possibly gotten lost or passed out in the streets. Or something worse than that.

The events from the night before slowly came back to his mind, and a grin is soon appearing on his face, but it’s quick to disappear when he remembers that he messaged John, and he always said the dumbest shit when he was wasted. In no time, he’s grabbing for his phone (which he finds under his leg for some reason) ignoring the headache.

He opens up the messages between him and John as fast as he can, and when he reads over them again, he can’t help but groan and fall back on the bed. He had fucked up. He had fucked up big time. He could tell that John was upset, and although Alex wasn’t sure why, he knew that it was because of the message about him taking body shots off of Zack’s abs.

He honestly regretted that now, and he wondered why it had seemed so great at the time. It was probably the amount of alcohol in his system - which Alex could somehow still feel. Hopefully, that would leave soon.

Alex isn’t quite sure what he could say to make the situation better. All he really knew was that he needed to give some sort of apology and that he needed to be serious for once in his life.

Hopefully, he didn’t mess things up too badly. He really liked John and the conversations that went on between them. As meaningless as they seemed, they held more importance to not only Alex, but John as well.

After a couple minutes of thinking over what he could say to make this better, and if he should actually try to make it better, he finally gets the guts to begin typing out a message, biting at his bottom lip as he concentrated. Or at least tried to with the awful hangover he had.

_Hey John, I wanted you to know that I’m sorry for last night. Like, really sorry. I know I fucked up big time, I just say the stupidest shit when I’m drunk. And I’m sorry you had to deal with that. And hear about the stupid things I did- I don’t usually like. Take body shots off people. I’m not sure why I did it or what seemed so appealing about it at the time but people were cheering me on. So yeah. It got to my head. No excuse, but that’s my explanation. I know it upset you for some reason, so I really want you to know I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again. For real. I hope you can forgive me._

_I hope you have a good day, thank you for being concerned even though I was being annoying._

_And thanks for being my friend. I love having you here._

  
The brunette reads over the messages one more time before he sets his phone down on Jack’s black nightstand, hoping that it was acceptable. He also hoped that it wasn’t too much.

Trying to take his mind off of it Alex glances at the alarm clock, taking note that it was only ten, and it would be too early on a Sunday for John to be up, considering it would be about seven in the morning there. It also meant it was too late for him to try to go back to sleep. He decides to climb out of bed, nearly tripping over Jack’s sleeping figure on his way out of the room.

He hears, “Watch where the fuck you’re going,” in Jack’s raspy and high pitched voice as he shuts the door behind him.

Alex really needed some medicine and water for his hangover and a muffin or two, the great blueberry kind that Jack’s mom always made.

Upon returning, his head feeling somewhat relieved and his stomach full, he steps over Jack’s still sleeping body and then settles back down on the twin sized bed. It’s not long before he’s dozed off again unintentionally, only waking up again when he hears moaning. He blinks a couple times before he realizes that it’s coming from Jack, soft moans of, “Zack, _oh_ , Zack.” Yeah, that makes Alex jump up, grabbing his phone and shoving it in his pocket before he’s hurrying out of the room, and the Barakat household altogether. He makes sure to yell out a goodbye to Mrs. Barakat.

The walk back to his house only took about ten minutes, but he wasn’t sure what time it was. Upon checking his phone for the time, he notices two things. One, that it was one in the afternoon and he had dozed off for a pretty long time and two, that John had replied.

_It’s okay, we all do stupid shit when we’re drunk._

_Consider yourself forgiven. :)_

As soon as he reads this, a smile tugs at the corners of his thin lips. He couldn’t believe that John was that cool with it and that forgiving. Maybe John was just more optimistic than Alex ever could be. Those thoughts are pushed aside as he replies.

_Wow you finally used an emoticon!!_

_Wow, you finally started to capitalize your letters._

  
_:(_   
_:((((_   
_not anymore_   
_asshole_

  
Surprisingly, everything turned out perfectly fine, and Alex had nothing to worry about after all. They conversed like normal and they were happy. Genuinely happy. Which was honestly a rare occurrence for John. They truly were good together, even if they hadn’t noticed it yet, and that night the two of them went to bed with smiles on their faces. 


	5. Chapter Five

When Monday rolled around, it was hard for Alex to get out of bed. It was hard for him to get through the school day, and he just wanted to get home and crawl into bed for a nap. He does just that, actually, but only because John had gotten his phone taken away; and the older boy knew this only because he had received a messy DM saying, “GOTTASGO PHONEGETTIG TAKEN BYE>.”

Alex was questioning John’s age already, since he didn’t seem like a middle school kid and he seemed extremely mature, so he was either in high school or college. He would totally be okay with having a crush on an older college boy. He wouldn’t mind having a sugar daddy these days.

Needless to say, Alex was bored out of his mind with John still in class, Zack having sports to go to and Jack for some reason wanting to cheer him on, and Rian was… well, he was wherever Cassadee was. They were basically attached at the hip, just like Jack and Zack had become lately.

Alex was beginning to feel like some sort of fifth wheel these days.

His nap was pretty great if he did say so himself, and he definitely needed to catch up on sleep after staying up countless nights to keep his new (maybe even best) friend company.

The only reason that he woke up was because his mom was knocking on his door like crazy, yelling his name. Not in a bad way, though, more like out of excitement. It makes him basically jump out of bed to open the door, and he’s met by the face of his mother-- and an envelope. The one he had been waiting to come for months now. His first college acceptance letter - or rejection. He grabs it, anxiety spiking.

“Holy shit!” He exclaims, pulling the envelope from his mother’s hands, ignoring her yelling at him to watch his language. She then heads back downstairs, but not without calling, “You better tell me if you got accepted.” Of course he agrees.

To be honest, he wasn’t sure if he could do this on his own, and he really wanted the support of the boy he had been becoming closer to. He wondered for a moment if John would be open to Skype, and he didn’t even think twice about if he would be or not even with Alex having never seen his face. He also doesn’t think about the time, and if the other was even out of class yet.

He grabs his phone off of his desk, and types out his first message since earlier.

  
_JOHN_   
_JOHN HOLY SHIT_   
_I GOT MY FIRST COLLEGE LETTER_   
_FROM MY FIRST CHOICE COLLEGE_   
_WILL YOU SKYPE ME_

  
It’s not until after he sends the messages that he realises that the idea might be dumb, and that it might be too soon for them to video call, but his fears fade away when a couple minutes later John replies, seeming like he wants to.

On the other hand, John was scared to show his face. Really scared. He didn’t like the way that he looked and he never had, but he wanted to be there for Alex. Also, he knew Alex was extremely cute, and he would love to see his face on video and not just in a selfie. Especially if it turned out this letter was to accept the older boy to college.

He could just imagine what Alex looked like when he smiled and it wasn’t just in a picture.

So, of course, he ends up accepting it, even sending his Skype name.

_Of course._   
_My username is thefifthjohn._   
_Call me. :)_

_ON IT._

In no time, John’s Skype is telling him he has an incoming video call, the annoying sound ringing in his ears. He props himself up on his bed, holding his phone farther away from his face; and then he’s answering, hoping he doesn’t look too nervous and that he doesn’t look like the tired mess that he was.

Alex had settled down at his desk, laptop with Skype open in front of him, and the second that he saw John he was taken aback. He was fucking gorgeous. Even with the quality low, he could see that John had beautiful eyes. They were either bright green or hazel, or maybe some odd mix of both, and they were staring just like Alex’s. His hair was a light brown, short strands falling in front of his face; his extremely structured face. He had a jawline for days, as they said. He even had some freckles adorning his face, and Alex was mesmerised. There was no other word to describe it.

He had even forgotten about the unopened letter sitting in front of him until John speaks up.

“Is something wrong?” Is the first thing he says, and upon hearing the words break the silence Alex snaps out of it, shaking his head as quickly as he can.

“No, no! Of course not, I just…” He trails off, not really knowing where he was going with it in the first place. He doesn’t want to admit to John that he found him absolutely breathtaking in every way. He doesn’t want to ruin what they have going for them.

John raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question it, instead asking about the letter that his friend had once been so nervous about opening. “Well, are you going to open it or what?” He asks, but it isn’t said rudely; his tone is more joking and somewhat curious.

With another nod, the letter is picked back up, and Alex tears is open without thinking. He unfolds it, eyes scanning over a few of the words before he realises.

He had been accepted to the college of his dreams.

He doesn’t continue reading. Instead, he goes back to the start, clearing his voice before he starts.

“Dear Mr. Gaskarth,” He starts, noticing the way John’s smile seems to grow. He’s not sure why, but he loves it, and he could definitely see himself calling John more in the future. Before he gets too distracted, he looks back at the letter, continuing with, “Congratulations! On behalf of the Office of Undergraduate Admission, it is my pleasure to offer your admission to Arizona State University’s upcoming class of the next semester…”

Of course, the letter continues, but Alex doesn’t continue to read. That was all he wanted and needed to hear, and right now the grin that formed on John’s face was all he needed to see. He looked proud for some reason and that warmed the older boy’s heart.

“John, I’m in!” He exclaims, even though he had already made it clear, “Oh my god, I got accepted!” He can’t help but even let out a cry of happiness, setting the letter down in front of him. He then looks back up at the boy on the screen, tears pricking at his eyes. He was so, so glad that he got to share this with John. That John wanted this.

As for John, he was glad too. He was happy that he’d accepted the Skype invitation, because he could see them doing this in the future just for fun. He wanted that, if it meant seeing Alex’s adorable face, especially when he was this happy. Even he was nearly brought to tears by the reaction the letter gets.

“I’m so proud of you,” He speaks up finally, and it’s genuine. Even Alex can tell, and once again, his heart skips a beat, and his face turns a light pink.

“Thank you so much,” Alex whispers in return, looking from the screen to the letter again. He can’t stop reading over it and the smile is nearly permanent on his face.

John, on the other side of the screen and the country, can’t stop staring at Alex. He can’t seem to tear his eyes away from the brunette and his excited expression, and his happiness was contagious it seemed. Although the words he said were more than enough, but he still wishes that he could do more to congratulate the boy he had developed some feelings for. He can’t help but yearn for him.

The two of them talk for a while once Alex snaps out of his happy trance. A really long time. As in about two hours, about everything and anything, like the fact that John was ahead and in Alex’s grade. They learn each other’s birthdays, a bunch of random facts about each other… a lot of things, really.

They only get off of Skype when Alex is being called down for both dinner and the results of the letter (though his mom probably heard him yelling) and they say their goodbyes. It takes a long time for them to actually hang up, but afterward, John can’t get the image of Alex being oh so happy out of his head.

For once, he’s okay with something being stuck in his mind.


	6. Chapter Six

It's only a couple of days later when John gets his own acceptance letter in the mail, and of course, it was from his own first choice of colleges. Arizona State. Just like Alex's. It was beyond exciting, and he was really eager to tell Alex; he liked the other boy. At the same time, he both wanted to surprise him and didn't want to lose him. He was scared that he'd freak Alex out and they wouldn't be friends anymore for some reason, and so, the letter was kept a secret, not even being brought up in one of their many Skype calls.

John wasn't quite sure what it was or why it was happening, but he was starting to have a soft spot for the over excited brunette. He was just… something else.

He didn't know how to explain it, but every time that the two of them called, something changed and he felt nothing but happiness. He never wanted to hang up, even if they had the worst time difference.

Currently, it was about two in the morning in Alex’s time zone - which John had come to learn was Baltimore, Maryland, and it was merely eleven for John, in Tempe. Which the other boy had also found out in one of their many talks.

The older brunette was getting tired, and John could tell by the way that his voice is getting quieter and his sentences are trailing off, but for some reason he refused to get off of the phone and just go to bed. He was lucky that it was a Friday night and not the weekday, because then he’d be getting lectured right now. That wasn’t as much fun.

After some persuasion, though, he had agreed to at least get in bed, his computer next to him on his bed while he was tucked in. John had to admit, he looked pretty adorable. Adorable and cuddly, among many other things in the back of his mind.

To make him feel better, John even got into bed too, even if he wasn’t exactly tired. He tucked himself in, eyes staying on Alex on the other side. His eyes were falling shut every few seconds and then opening back up, his hair more messed up than it usually was. It was a mess, but the cutest mess of hair John had seen. He was getting ready to close his own eyes to try and get Alex to sleep when his favourite soft voice cut through the quiet of the night, seemingly raspy from exhaustion.

“John?” He starts, voice quieter than usual - Alex was a pretty loud guy sometimes. “Your eyes are like… they’re jus’ really pretty.”

Admittedly, this caused John’s heart to beat just a little bit faster, his cheeks dusting pink. He didn’t know what to say, so he says nothing, just watches the boy across the country through his screen. He wasn’t expecting the compliment, nor was he expecting the one that follows it.

“You’re pretty in general, JJ.”

This boy did things to John. That much was certain. His cheeks turn a darker pink as he shakes his head, but otherwise stays quiet, trying not to distract Alex from falling asleep. It works too, because only moments later the messy haired brunette was asleep, face buried against his pillow. It warmed John’s heart, and all he wanted was to be there with Alex. He wanted to tuck him in and kiss his head, and he knew this wasn’t normal to think about in a friendship, but he couldn’t help himself.

Alex was special.

John lets his own eyes fall shut, somehow getting tired just from watching Alex sleep, and before he knows it he’s joining Alex in slumber. All that’s on his mind is how it would feel to have Alex in his arms, right beside him.


	7. Chapter Seven

The next Monday, things were a little different. It all started at lunch, really, as Alex sat down at his normal table in the corner of the cafeteria with his closest friends. Immediately, he was greeted with a large grin from Jack. However, it wasn’t exactly a normal grin. It was a mischievous grin, at best.

“So who’s this John guy you’ve been talking to so much, ‘Lex?” Jack said with a little laugh, and it takes Alex by surprise. It also makes him blush, cheeks burning with embarrassment as he ducks his head.

“He’s-- Um… uhh--”

“It’s clear he doesn’t want to talk about it, Jack. Just let it go,” Rian cuts in. Bless him. Alex knew the guy was a saint sometimes, and now he was just proving this. Zack however, had nothing to say, as he just stared at Jack. Well, at least that was normal for him, his gaze never exactly leaving the awkward, lanky teenage boy.

Alex knew they had something going on, so he shoots back, “What’s up with you and Zack, huh?”

He looks up at the dark haired boy across from him, eyes narrowing for a moment before he begins picking at his lunch. He wondered how they even knew about John anyway, but then again, he always messaged John while he was around them. He had his number now, after all, and so they could talk even more than they had been already. They had exchanged them when John had to go somewhere, since he was almost out of data and all, and he would have never heard the end of it if he went over.

“We’re-- Well, that’s not the point! I asked you first!” Jack almost yells, pointing a finger at Alex. He did have a point, but Alex had even more of one when Zack simply put a hand on Jack’s shoulder; and this appears to calm the latter down. He knew it.

“John and I are only friends. We Skype call a lot--” He tries to speak again, but once more, he’s cut off, and with nonsense from his friends.

“Did you two fuck?” The skunk-haired boy accuses next, crossing his arms over his chest. He was always the most dramatic one out of the four of them, and that was showing.

  
“What? No, of course not, he’s not even from here, he’s in Arizona!”

“So you’ve had phone sex,” Is the next thing that Jack says, nodding as if he knew these facts and they were confirmed. Which, they weren’t, because Alex and John were just friends. Totally just good friends, which no other feelings behind it.

“Do they have to be fucking?” Zack’s quiet voice cuts in, and Alex notices his hand gently rubbing at Jack’s shoulder.

Everyone’s eyes go wide at his words, but of course Jack answers with a quiet “yes.” Go figure.

“I don’t even know if he likes me like that, guys. He’s… not a guy that talks about his feelings a lot.”

“What, he doesn’t like a charming and cute guy like you?” Jack says, scruffing Alex’s already messy hair. He hated when he did that, and Jack was well aware of this fact. He looked so smug.

“Jack, fuck, cut it out! I’m trying to talk!” Alex says maybe too loudly, reaching up to push the other boy’s slender fingers away, and then his hands completely. He messed his hair up to perfection.

“Fine, fine, don’t say I didn’t try and cheer you up.”

“Anyways,” Rian sighs, shaking his head at the scene playing out in front of him, “What has he said to you? Has he complimented you at all?”

“I mean...kinda? he stares at me a lot when we’re Skyping, but that’s normal…”

“If he’s not one to talk about feelings and he’s staring at you so much, I’d say that’s not exactly normal behavior,” Rian isn’t usually one to get into other people’s relationships like this, so Alex wasn’t sure why he’s so set on it this time, but he won’t question it. Not yet, at least.

“Wait… is this the same John you’ve been obsessing over on twitter?” Zack narrows his eyes once he connects the two things, before he’s shaking his head.

Alex blushes hard, and this time he can’t help but avoid everyone’s gaze. “...Maybe.”

“What the fuck!” Jack yells, loud enough to where the entire cafeteria could probably hear it. A few people even turn to look at them. “You got with the poet?”

“I wouldn’t exactly say he’s a poet,” He tries to defend himself, but he knows that it isn’t working. John is pretty much a poet, and he’s also pretty popular, and so he knows that the other three people at the table are judging him. Zack shook his head, Rian just sort of groaned, and Jack... well, he was over dramatic as usual, all of the pride of Alex “finally getting laid” or “finding someone” seemingly gone.

“And we’re not together!” Alex then says louder, finally realizing what Jack was implying. They were definitely not together, and they never would be, “And that’s that!”

“Is he even gay?” Zack asks quietly, and that’s about when Alex groans and gets up. He doesn’t want to deal with this, and without another word, he grabs his bag and throws it over his shoulder. He storms out of the cafeteria, ignoring the curious eyes that are on him and his friends. His annoying, asshole friends.

He’s glad that his lunch is almost over, but for now he hides out in the bathroom down the hall, pulling his phone out of his pocket so he could text John. For some reason, the only thing that he could think about possibly calming him down him. Just him. He’s relieved when he gets an immediate answer.

  
_my friends just questioned me about you yikes!_

_Why’s that? Did I do something?_

_no they just thought we were dating or something??_

_Wait, really? How did they even know we were talking?_

_that’s a good ass question. pretty sure they just looked over my shoulder._   
_considering i’m always texting you, dude_

_Seriously?_

_yeah, seriously. it was kinda weird, honestly._

_What did you tell them?_

_well._   
_i told them we weren’t together of course??_

_That’s good._   
_I have to go to my next class, but I hope your friends don’t annoy you again._   
_Good luck._

  
_lmao thanks._   
_you too! can’t wait to talk to you later._

Alex is relieved that the bell rings to signal that he has to go to his next class too right then, even though he would much rather go home and talk to John. That’s what he was looking forward to at least, as he trudged along to his next and second to last class, backpack falling to the floor as he took his seat.He was glad that none of his friends was in this class for once, not wanting to hear them bother him about a boyfriend or fuckbuddy that he didn’t even have. Especially in public, of all places.

As class started up, he buried his head in his arms, closing his brown eyes. He blocked out the teacher’s talking and his peer’s gossip, letting his mind wander to John. He wondered what the other boy was doing right now and how he felt. Was he thinking about Alex too? He sure hoped so.

Without realizing it, Alex ends up dozing off, still wondering about the other boy


	8. Chapter Eight

John manages to suffer through a few classes until it’s time for him to head to his lunch, and the first thing that he does is messages Alex again. He doesn’t get a reply, but he didn’t expect one back right away since it was a school day, and obviously Alex is in school just like he is.

As he made his way into the cafeteria, he spotted Pat and Kennedy sat together hand in hand, and he couldn’t help but smile. He was relieved to see his friends, and he was also inwardly dying at just how cute they were together. As salty as he acted, he really loved them together.

When he reached the table, he dropped his bag onto the uncomfortable seat next to him and then sat down across from his two friends. “Hey guys,” He greets tiredly, already worn out from the day. It was normal for him, though, since school really wore him out.

He couldn’t wait to graduate already.

Pat gives John a shy smile as Kennedy greets him in return with, “Hey, dude. You look like you’re ready to pass out, or something.” He couldn’t be more correct, and maybe John should get more sleep, but… sleep was boring, and sleep didn’t have Alex in it.

“I am, honestly. I didn’t get much sleep this weekend,” He shrugs as he speaks as if this was normal news, reaching into his backpack to pull out a small bag of chips that he was going to call his lunch. He sets it on the table, and while he opens it, he doesn’t notice Kennedy’s raised eyebrow.

Although John had a history of having trouble falling and staying asleep, Kennedy still took it upon himself to question the other boy about it. “Why?” He asks, making sure to keep his voice kind. He was surprisingly good at it, though he could be intimidating.

“I was… I actually called a friend I met recently for the first time this weekend. It was pretty fun, but we stayed up pretty late talking. We do that a lot,” John admits, rubbing his face with one of his hands. He really was tired, and it was becoming more and more apparent the longer he sat down. He was tempted to shove his chips back in his bag and take a nap right here and now.

“What’s their name?” Kennedy asks, and John can’t help but blush, something he didn’t do too often until more recently. He couldn’t help it came to talking or thinking about Alex, really.

“He must be a pretty big deal if you’re blushing like that,” Pat hums out, leaning his head on Kennedy’s shoulder as he lets out a soft giggle.

“His name is Alex,” John says, voice quiet as he does so. He was now trying to hide his head in his hands to hide his obvious bright red cheeks.

“Alex?” Kennedy repeats as he raises his eyebrows, “Does he have a last name?”

“It’s not that important…”

Kennedy shrugs and rolls his eyes in response as Pat finally cuts in. “It is if you decide to marry him.” He has a smile on his face, but then again, when doesn’t he?

“We’re not even dating!” John says, a little louder than he should have. He doesn’t want to attract any attention, because attention being on him was never his thing.

“And besides, when did Mr. Hardass No-Feelings decide he liked anyone?” Kennedy says nonchalantly, smirking in the slightest. They did know about John’s account, after all, and they had been friends for a long time now.

“Since when have you called me--” He starts, but then he cuts himself off with a scoff and a shake of the head. He eats a couple of his chips so he didn’t leave without eating at all, before continuing. “I don’t even like him like that! We’re just good friends!”

“Good friends,” Pat repeats mockingly, making air quotes with his fingers.

John groans, pushing his chips away before buries his head in his arms to try and ignore the other two teenagers. “You two are unbearable sometimes.”

Kennedy snorts and then reaches over to snatch the other’s snack, mumbling, “Hey, just be glad Jared and Garrett don’t know. You wouldn’t ever hear the end of it if the two of them knew about it.”

“As if I’m going to ever hear the end of it from you two,” John can’t help but whine, letting one of his eyes peek out from under his arms to look up at Kennedy. He knew the both of these things were true.

“But we’ll at least try to avoid telling them for a while,” The younger of the two says, trying to at least give John one good thing about the situation.

“You better fuckin’ keep your word on that, Brock.”

Pat giggles again, but when does he not. One of the many good things about Pat Kirch was the fact that he never seemed to be in a bad mood, even when he was away from Kennedy. John envied him, kind of. Something about that happy-go-lucky attitude always made him at least a little bit jealous in his worse moods. He lifts his head up, and looks at Kennedy just in time for the other to speak again.

“When have I ever broken a promise, O’Callaghan?” Kennedy asks, but it’s more of a rhetorical question, and John simply glares at him in response. If he had some time, John could probably name a few. They mostly involved alcohol, of course. If John was in a good mood, he did tend to party a little more than most. It wasn’t a bad thing, but it didn’t really help when Kennedy promised to look after John, only to leave him to go fuck Pat or something. John didn’t really know for sure where he went, and honestly, he didn’t care to. He didn’t want to know what they always ended up doing together.

John finally shakes his head, shaking away all of those thoughts. “Anyways, Alex isn’t from around here. He’s from the east coast, I’m pretty sure. I think he said Baltimore specifically, if I remember right….” John furrows his eyebrows as he tries to remember all of the details, but he does smile at the next detail he’s about to tell them. “He got into ASU. He said that was his top pick and everything too, so… maybe I’ll have an opportunity to meet him in person soon, like…. When we’re both there.”

“Does he know you’re going there and all?” Kennedy’s attention is fully on John now, curious but also somewhat concerned for his friend. They were all best friends, after all, and that was normal.

John doesn’t look at them directly when Kennedy speaks, and finally, John speaks up again. “Uh. No, actually. I figured it’d be a good surprise, y’know? Like, ‘hey, you knew i was from Arizona, but surprise, no we’re going to the same college!’” John’s face goes red a little bit, especially when Kennedy groans at what he says.

“John, you can’t… you can’t do that, okay? That could seriously fuck things up. I know you’re some kind of hopeless romantic, but that is not a good idea,” The boy opposite of him warns, but John doesn’t listen. Then again, he doesn’t usually listen to the warnings directed towards him.

John just shrugs at his words, but he does at least smile. “But what if it works out? What if it ends up being some kind of great surprise?”

“Then you’d be a lucky bastard,” Kennedy says, almost gritting his teeth.

“What can I say? It’s the luck of the Irish,” John straight up grins, mostly because he was in fact messing with Kennedy in a rather successful way for once. This didn’t usually happen on a regular basis. But, then again, John did have a pretty good streak for fucking things up tremendously just because he thought it’d be better his way and not anyone else’s. Not to mention, he didn’t listen to warnings he was given or advice.

Needless to say, his own intuition wasn’t the best sometimes. He definitely needed to work on that.

The only response he gets is a huff and shake of his head again at the words, but he doesn’t really do much more than that, as Pat starts to distract him with something he wanted to tell him, apparently. John doesn’t really listen though, as he instead decides to pull out his phone so he could look at twitter. Though, the only tweets he would see were Alex’s, considering he didn’t follow anyone else.

Not that he minded.

John does end up tweeting something new, though. Something he definitely could relate to at the moment, when all of his thoughts were all coming back to one person: Alex.

**_@johnmaine:_ **   
_I miss you more than I probably should._

As if on cue, John got a new message, one that made him smile.

_did I miss anything?_

Alex. Just who he wanted.

_Uh… Not really, actually._   
_I’m just at lunch right now. I have a couple friends I’m sitting with._

_has anything happened?_

_No, thankfully. I’m really glad._   
_I really miss you, though._

_hey, i miss you too._

_That’s gay._

_i’m gay._

_Wow, me too. How cool is that?_

It’s then that John get interrupted by Kennedy shoving his shoulder. When did he stand up? He notices now that everyone in the room is up, and with an eye roll his best friend mumbles, “The bell rang, you idiot.”

John says nothing as he gets up, shoving his phone in his pocket. He grabs his bag and rushes off to class, knowing he can’t be late another day. He had already gotten a bunch of detentions from tardiness. Alex would understand.

Which, he does. He doesn’t question John not replying and just suddenly disappearing, and instead he decides he could definitely sleep through his last class. He had barely slept last night trying to stay up with John, and hey, it wasn’t like the teacher would miss his stupid jokes.


	9. Chapter Nine

_ There’s a wetness against Alex’s neck that he can’t identify, and that’s the first thing that wakes him up. He doesn’t open his eyes yet, focusing on it, and it’s… moving? Trailing down his neck in a line, sloppy but also gentle. He’s nervous, and he doesn’t know why quite yet.  _

 

_ He learns the answer as soon as he hears a familiar voice, one that usually brings him comfort. “Fuck, Alex. You’re beautiful, so goddamn beautiful.”  _

 

_ It’s John. And those are John’s lips. On his fucking neck.  _

 

_ He would be freaking out right now, but he can’t bring himself to. And when he tries to speak, a moan falls from his lips, and he’s suddenly way too aware of the feeling between his legs and slowly building up in his lower stomach, travelling up his body. He doesn’t know what the feeling is, but it’s good. No - it’s more than that, a word he can’t even come up with. _

 

_ His eyes flutter open, another soft gasp escaping as he begins feeling John’s hands travelling up his legs, those freakishly long fingers dipping into every crevice and dip he can seem to find. It makes Alex shiver. They travel inward, resting on the top of his thighs, and soon there are thumbs rubbing against the most sensitive skin he has. _

 

_ Yeah, that was when Alex realized he was naked. Completely naked. They both were. _

 

_ John then sits up straight, seeming to tower over him. Their eyes meet, and Alex stares into those beautiful green eyes he remembers seeing every time he opens Skype. The ones that are the last thing he sees before drifting into a beautiful sleep.  _

 

_ “Are you ready, baby?” John asks, his voice going deeper than Alex thought it could. It isn’t scratchy, it’s low and smooth, the most beautiful melody. The pet name and the vague question give him goosebumps. But why? _

 

_ Alex finally finds the words and the willpower to speak, even if it’s shaky, and he squeaks out, “Ready f-for wh-what?” John doesn’t answer at first, and only smiles, one of those smug ones that always appear after he’s made some sort of joke. Usually a dirty one. _

 

_ “To wake up.” _

  
  


Alex wakes up for real this time, startled and confused. Not only that, but he’s dazed, and sticky.

 

Sticky?

 

His eyebrows furrowed quickly, and he sits up in bed. He has no idea how to process that dream, and he knows that they were about to get intimate, but the real question was  _ how intimate _ ? What was John asking him what he was ready for?

 

When he eyes the clock on the nightstand behind his bed, he notices the time, and  _ shit _ . If he didn’t get up and get ready to leave right now, he was never going to make it to school in time. While he would love to stay home and all, his grades said he needed to be in class. 

 

He’s rushing then, throwing his covers off. He stumbles upon jumping up but is fast in catching himself, holding onto the nightstand. He has time to brush his teeth, smooth out his hair, and change, and he does just that. There was just one thing, though. 

 

When he peeled off his underwear, he quickly found out why he thought of the word sticky. He came. A lot. That’s when it hits him that he had just had a wet dream, a wet dream about somebody he was quickly coming to call his best friend. He was confused, and to be quite honest, feeling embarrassed and guilty. Really fucking guilty, for some reason.

 

He didn’t message John that morning. 


	10. Chapter Ten

Surrounded by mindless gossip and talk about classes, about shitty teachers and lazy classmates, John realizes how lonely he feels. Alex hadn’t messaged him that morning, and while it could have been that the other boy had woken up late, he still was worried beyond belief. He actually couldn’t believe just how worried he was over such a small thing. Pat is sat beside him waiting for Kennedy to come back with their lunches, and then they were going to sit outside.

John was invited, but he chose to stay behind, too worried to want to engage in a conversation that was most likely going to be about weekend plans. Plans that he might not even be included in.

His mind is somewhere else, across the country to be specific, with the brunette he had quickly come to adore. He wondered if he was going to get a message soon, and because of this, his hand was running over the smooth screen of his phone and the case out of worry. John’s food was long forgotten.

A hard nudge to his side brings John out of his trance, and he blushes when he realizes he’s been staring ahead at a group of girls. It was a complete accident, and he turns to face Pat.

“Dude, what’s wrong with you today?” Pat asks, “You’ve been staring those girls down with your hand on your lap for a couple minutes, and I would stop that if I were you.”

It was a joke, he knew that, but it still was making him flustered.

“I’m fine, just didn’t sleep last night,” Is the excuse that comes from the green-eyed boy, who just hopes is believable. He did have problems with sleeping at night before, and Pat knew this. Pat knew a lot about him, though, and John recognized that look of doubt that crosses the other’s face. The younger opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but turns his head to meet the eyes of his lover.

Kennedy sends the two a wide and goofy smile, the one he was infamous for, and interrupts with, “What’s goin’ on over here? Gossiping about Alex again?”

John, honestly, had momentarily forgotten. There that goes.

Pat shakes his head as if he knows what’s going on in John’s mind and then stands, reaching up to push his long brown hair out of his eyes. There’s a reassuring smile thrown at John and a gentle pat on the back, and then he reaches out to take the tray of food from Ken.

“Just talking about your ugly Pumas,” He jokes, a quick save that succeeds at distracting Kennedy, who just narrows his eyes at that.

“They aren’t ugly! Look how cool they are!” Even though he’s holding a tray of food, he swings his leg up so that his shoe is on the table. It can’t be sanitary with how much running around Kennedy does, and the fact that he plays soccer, and that makes John cringe and even scoff.

They begin to bicker, and while Pat drags a now more defensive than usual Kennedy out of the cafeteria and to the door to the food court outside, he manages to mumble to John, “Sorry J. Text me later so I know everything’s okay.”

With that, the two head out the doors, leaving John to be by himself in the overcrowded room. It wasn’t much longer before John actually got a message from Pat though, explaining that Ken was having issues with his dad. John knew he’d been having issues, what with the name change and all, but he hadn’t really seen anything visibly affect him at school until now. It did explain how he had been acting up in some classes and acting a little too hyper, though.

John had reassured him that it was fine, and that he understood; Ken had been vocal only once before about family problems, telling the rest of their friends about a divorce and a fight and some other shit. Not only that, but John could remember at least once that he and Ken got high and talked about their issues, and he could sense that that was going to have to happen again. Maybe even sooner than he thought.

The bell rang, and that was John’s cue to sprint out of the cafeteria to beat the herd of people. Good thing he always sat next to the doors that led to the hall. As he walked, he stayed to the side and near lockers so he could navigate while checking his phone every few seconds. He was getting more and more nervous, the one question floating around as he waited.

_Had he scared Alex off?_

He didn’t even realize he had opened up his text app, and sent a quick little message saying “ _Hey, Alex. Busy morning?_ ” Now, he had to wait and see. Hope and pray that it was subtle and that Alex replied to it within the next hour.

  
After he sent that, an idea pops up in the back of his mind. He opens up his messages with Kennedy, which were few and far between as they constantly saw each other.

_Hey, man. Pat told me something was going on at home again. Wanna come over tonight and smoke it out like that one time last summer?_

 

_Blaze it. Sounds good._   
_See you tonight dude._

 

The reply came through in seconds, as if Kennedy was waiting for the question to come, and John smiled to himself. His friend would be okay. He knew this from the jokes that were subtle, but still coming. Things would be okay. Talking things out over a joint or two would help them both out, and maybe, just maybe, Alex would return from wherever he had disappeared to.


	11. Chapter Eleven

_ Hey Alex. Busy morning? _

 

Alex felt guilty. He knew he should’ve messaged John by now, maybe even explained to him what happened, but... He couldn’t bring himself to. He felt embarrassed, like he somehow ruined their friendship and what they had between them. He had had a  _ wet dream _ over his budding best friend for fuck’s sake, and it wasn’t something he could just get over. John deserved better than that, and he was afraid that if John found out about it, he’d practically disown him.

 

And honestly, Alex hated the idea of not being friends with John anymore, especially because of him being a horny teenage boy that didn’t know self control.

  
Alex felt something special about John, about their friendship, their relationship, everything. He was incredible, and everything that came out of his mouth was like some kinda impressive poem that Alex couldn’t even  _ dream _ of coming up with. 

 

Well, almost everything. John did sometimes say some downright weird shit, like the daddy jokes, but Alex still loved them no matter what.

 

Wait, loved?

 

Alex couldn’t love John. No way. He just had a wet dream about him, plain and simple, and those absolutely did not mean anything in terms of love. If anything, it proved that he was a horny gay teenager. A horny gay teenager that maybe had some kind of feelings for his best friend that lived across the country.

 

It’s not like he was having some kinda breakdown about it, nope, not at all. 

 

Thankfully he got another message soon enough, this time being from Rian, his current best friend. God Bless Robert Rian Dawson sometimes, Alex thought. 

 

_ Wanna hang out? I’m free tonight. Cass is out with some of her girlfriends. _

 

_ fuck yeeeeeeees you’re a lifesaver i swear _

_ I owe you one ri _

 

_ When do you not owe me, Alex??? _

 

_ fuck you i can do whatever i want _

_ just pleeeeeease can we do something i’m bored as fuck and i need someone to talk to _

 

_ Yeah yeah, can you at least let me get in my car first? _

 

_ fine i’m waiting xoxoxoxoxo _

 

Alex was impatient, but that’s the story of his life. He’s an ass. But soon enough, Rian was there in his beat up, shitty Corolla, honking his horn repeatedly to tell Alex that he was there. It was something that always happened, and that the neighbors always complained about. From his bedroom window, Alex flipped Rian off, and then he was running down the stairs.

 

The two of them decided on going to McDonalds, Alex’s self-declared comfort food at this point. It became Rian’s at some point too, since the two of them always met up to talk about their problems when they had them, whether it was something stupid like a girl punching Rian in the jaw (which had happened) or Alex failing biology because his teacher was so cute he couldn’t focus (which had also happened.) There was something comforting about that sad, creepy clown that sat in the corner of the rundown McDonald’s near their neighborhoods. Really, they had come to call it the comfort clown.

 

Once at the fast food joint, Alex headed toward their normal seats to sit in the corner. He stops when he spots the statue of the clown, taking the time to sigh and reach out to put his hand on the grimey old thing. 

 

“Thanks, Ronnie… good ol’ Ronnie. You always knew how to treat me right,” He grumbles, and he can just tell that his best friend rolled his eyes. 

 

While the food was ordered by Rian, Alex sat in his favorite seat and waited. 

 

Soon enough, he was shoving fry after fry into his mouth, his oreo McFlurry already almost empty. “These goddamn cockflurries, they’re so good but so evil,” Alex basically moaned after taking a sip of it. A long one. He needed the comfort the fattening food gave him. 

 

“No wonder you’re a fatass,” Rian scoffs, picking at his fries. 

 

“Dude,  no, I swear that this clown is a wizard or something.”

 

“He’s a clown. A clown, and nothing more, Alex,” Rian sighs, setting his fries down. He was all for joking, but he was really getting concerned about the brunette across the table from him who was basically inhaling food. He cared a lot for Alex, and he didn’t want to see pain in his life.

 

“Enough about the clown. Put your fries down and tell me what’s wrong,” The slightly younger boy insisted. Alex knew that there was no use avoiding it or arguing, and so he set his food down. Once his mouth wasn’t full, he got straight to the point.

 

“I had a wet dream about a best friend.”

 

Rian almost choked. That was not at all what he was expecting, and with a shaky voice, eyes avoiding Alex’s, he asked, “Which one?”

 

Alex laughed at that, and he laughed hard. God, he would never in a million years think of Rian like that. No offence to him, of course. 

 

“Fuck, that’s gross, dude. I would never fuck you, or even think of it! Get your mind out of the gutter, hetero!” He chuckles, and throws a fry across to table so his friend would snap out of it, “His name is John. I’m sure you’ve heard plenty from Jack.” 

 

He said this because of Jack’s tendency to gossip. Sure, his boyfriend could try to control it, but Jack had the biggest mouth of anybody he was friends with. Maybe even out of all the people in their school.

 

“Wait, that John? The same John you never stop talking about unless you need to breathe for once?”   
  
“They are one in the same, believe it or not,” Alex deadpanned, glaring at Rian’s sarcasm. He didn’t mean to talk about John so much, but he did like him a lot. That, and he couldn’t just go talking about John to the entire school or post on his Twitter about the green-eyed charmer he was falling for. 

 

“Boy, do you have issues.”

 

“I’m aware of that, asshole, but I’m trying to fix those issues. God, I can’t even talk to him. I don’t know what to say. What if I randomly say, “hey dude, last night I dreamt you fucked me, and I loved it” or something?” Alex groaned, and then slumped back against his seat.

 

“Make a joke about it then? I don’t know, you can’t just leave him hanging like that. That’s a shitty move and you know that.” Rian crossed his arms, pursing his lips even. He hated those walls Alex could build around himself. 

 

And Alex, well, he hated when Rian was right - and he always was.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy subjects are talked about in this chapter. <3

Not long after John got back from school, he met up with Kennedy to smoke and talk about the worries taking up every corner of his mind. He was almost forcing himself not to call his dearest friend Trotter in reference to his old last name, and he told himself he could hold back. He wanted to respect the other boy’s wishes, especially considering the situations Kennedy had been in, recently more than ever. 

 

As far as John knew, Kennedy’s family life wasn’t the best. It wasn’t the standard nuclear family that’s talked about at school in every class and shown on television. If anything, it was starting to show what it was recently — a train wreck – it was going south fast. 

 

Secretly, John hoped to get everything in Kennedy’s mind out into the open. Worries, problems, everything. He was worried and loved Kennedy enough to want these things not to be bottled up, but it wasn’t in a romantic way, of course. Pat already had that covered.

 

The two sat on a blanket in the desert. They hadn’t gone far, just to a deserted parking lot they and their group of friends had claimed as their own. John’s eyes were on the numbers, 8123, on the warehouse across the building, while Kennedy sat across from him and rolled a joint for the two of them. 

 

John only turns his attention back to what’s going on when he smells the drugs around him, and then is the victim of a cloud of smoke. He coughs for a second, turning his head. “Oh, dude, don’t do that,” He chuckles, shaking his head. 

 

There’s another goofy smile on Kennedy’s face, and he says nothing as he looks from John to the sky, to the beautiful twinkling stars above them. It’s clear he has a lot on his mind, and he was already zoning out thinking about all of it. 

 

“So, Alex,” John stars, easing into talking about their issues, “It’s a really dumb thing to be hung up on, but he hasn’t… he hasn’t messaged me back, you know? Something is wrong. He usually says good morning when it’s still about three here.” 

 

There’s a pout on his face, and he reaches out to grab the joint from between his friend’s fingers. He takes a drag, and when he blows the smoke out he tilts his head back. When the smoke clears, there are the stars. Shining bright above them in the clear Arizona sky. 

 

He can see the reason for Kennedy’s distraction and fascination before. 

 

“Are you sure he’s not just busy? Stress does some pretty awful shit to people sometimes,” Kennedy points out. 

 

”Yeah, I’m pretty sure. With the amount he talks to me in a day, I’m pretty sure he would’a said something. “Hey, I’m going to be busy!” or something.” 

 

“That’s fair. I never would’a thought you’d fall for a blabbermouth, John Ohh,” Kennedy teased, elbowing John’s arm lightly.

 

_ Fall for him?  _

 

That comment catches John off guard. He didn’t think of it exactly as falling for someone yet –  _ yet _ ? – but as a little crush on somebody thousands of miles away from him. 

 

“I…. I’m not sure if you could call it that—“

 

“John, seriously? You won’t stop talking about him. You followed him on Twitter. I may have some shit going on right now that makes it hard to pay attention, but even I can tell you’re falling for him.”

 

There’s this voice in the back of John’s mind that’s telling him Kennedy is right. Completely right. He doesn’t want to listen to the voice, though, and ignores it. Instead, he moves on to the other’s problems, the main reason for this meeting. 

 

“Wait, what is going on with you right now?” John quirked his head as he asked, decisively changing the subject. He doesn’t even object when Kennedy grabs the joint out of his hand and starts taking his toll on it, breathing out slowly before he talks. 

 

“I… Well, y’know that my family is fucked up. Big time. I mean... I changed my name’s for fuck’s sake,” He takes a break, and it’s as if he’s hesitating to continue, but he does, “My mom’s even marrying another guy, and…. My dad just won’t leave us alone. I keep gettin’ shit from him about how I should live with him and how I  _ betrayed _ him for changing my name, and….” 

 

Kennedy sighs, looking down at the blanket under them. He begins to toy with the fraying fabric he continues, “It just keeps getting to me. I’m honestly scared he might do something to my mom at some point, even though she says she’s got it covered…”

 

It’s a lot for John to take in, but he knew it would be. It was a topic that they had briefly talked about before, almost monthly, considering what had gone on. It wasn’t exactly like that asshole of a dad was suddenly rough around the edges. Instead, Kennedy had grown up dealing with him, fighting with him and withstanding abuse from him for years. John couldn’t even count the times on one hand anymore where the younger boy had shown up at his house with a black eye or some kind of bruise on his face. There had even been a time where bruises on his torso were exposed. 

 

It was John’s turn to sigh, but it wasn’t because he was disappointed in Kennedy or anything like that. He was disappointed in his father. In life for bringing this hellfire onto his beloved friend. 

 

“If it ever gets to be too much, you know you can come stay at my place. My mama loves you a lot. Pretty sure she’d let you live there if she could,” He sends a reassuring smile to Kennedy as he speaks. 

 

“Honestly, I don’t doubt that. Your mom always tries to get me to eat shit when I come over. Seriously, last time she offered to make me an entire meal when I was just coming over to drop off some equipment that you left at Pat’s the other day.”

 

“I’m guessing Tim threatened to stop being our  _ manager _ or whatever if you didn’t bring it over, huh?”

 

“Bingo.”

 

There’s another pause, and a smile tugging at the corner of Kennedy’s mouth. He looks from the joint, the one that’s now burning out, and then to John. If he looks hard enough, he can see the tears threatening to spill, one even escaping. 

 

Kennedy puts out their little escape, and then wipes his eyes. “But I really appreciate your mom. I don’t think I would be here if she… if she didn’t do everything that she did. Like the time she lent me clothes, or when she made me lunch on the first day of school Sophomore year…” 

 

He trails off, and his words are followed by a broken sob. It breaks John’s heart, shatters it into a million pieces, but he doesn’t have time to speak before Kennedy does once more. 

 

“I think you should give Alex some time, okay? You… you never know what’s going on with somebody.” 

 

That concluded the conversation, and John nods. He agrees, but his heart suddenly aches. For Alex, for himself, but mostly for Kennedy Brock, who was always wise despite how stupid he acted. 

  
  


The ride home is silent, but the silence says enough, and the sad smiles say more than any words could. 

  
  
  



	13. Chapter Thirteen.

Alex gets home from being with Rian a lot later than he anticipated, at about eleven at night. After the McDonalds trip, the two went on a drive and fucked around in a Target to take the formers mind off of things. He even got to hear Rian rant about his girlfriend, which wasn’t uncommon. It was cute, though. 

 

He’s a good boy and does his homework, and then he spends some time browsing Tumblr and Instagram. He liked to look at the cute boys and the music recommendations that came through sometimes. Instagram had a lot of shitty memes and whatnot, but he tried to ignore those for the most part. 

 

It’s a spur of the moment decision when he decides to check Skype. There was no reason for doing it, as his only friends on there were Rian, his mom, and John. He’s somewhat surprised to see the green dot next to John’s name, and immediately he thinks back to the conversation that he had with his close friend over fries and McFlurries. He should talk to John. 

 

The Arizonian deserved at least some kind of answer to why he hadn’t messaged him for the entirety of the day, despite seeing his messages.

 

That being said, Alex finds himself clicking on John’s name, and then hitting the call button. It was almost as if it was expected, because the call begins to connect in mere seconds. When it does, Alex’s heart almost stops. There the beautiful, charming boy is, sat at his desk with his notebook between himself and the computer, a guitar on his lap. Alex watches him put it aside, seemingly on a stand.

 

“H-hey…” Alex speaks up, completely nervous all of a sudden. He didn’t expect this scene to unfold in front of him, much less see John put everything aside just to talk to him. 

 

He’s getting more nervous by the second, his attention solely on John’s hands and the way those long fingers curl around the leather bound notebook, closing it and pushing it aside. They wrap around the front of the laptop, and the computer is pulled closer. It reminds Alex of his dream and the way his fingers had touched him, everywhere, and suddenly he can’t keep his mouth shut.

 

“I had a wet dream about you!” He blurts out, and then his face turns bright red. He slams his head down on his desk with a groan, not because of the pain of the action but because of the fact that he just basically yelled that out of nowhere. John’s eyes widen, and he basically chokes on his own spit. He had to have just imagined that sentence.

 

Alex did  _ not  _ just say that to him. 

 

“You what?!” He nearly cries, eyes staying on Alex, who sits up in a second. His face is bright red, and that’s confirmation enough that he really just said that.

 

“I-I had a wet dream about you...” Alex repeats again, looking away from the computer screen as he trails off. He was embarrassed, mostly because he could see John’s reaction. He guessed they were on the same page, at least. “I’m n-not really sure why, but it happened, and… I was so embarrassed, dude. That’s why I didn’t talk to you today...”

 

John really isn’t sure what to say at that point, truthfully. He’s a little shocked, he didn’t expect that kind of answer to why Alex didn’t say anything to him. “Honestly, I thought you were mad at me and hated my guts, so I’m just glad that’s not the case.”

 

There’s a moment of silence and John purses his lips, reluctantly adding, “And I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought of you like that before.”

 

Now it’s John’s turn to blush, joining in with the boy on the other side of the screen, and he glances away from the screen to his journal. He kept it by him because it was comforting, and right now he didn’t want to look at Alex. Not after admitting what he had. 

 

There’s another couple seconds of silence, and then Alex can’t help but laugh. It’s a quiet, nervous laugh, and he follows up with, “Seriously? Then… let’s forget i said that. I’m sorry I ignored you.”

 

John wasn’t upset in the slightest now that he had heard the explanation. He was more relieved than anything else anyway. He looks at his webcam and smiles, chuckling, “It’s okay, darlin’. I understand.”

 

“So…. what does that make us then?” It’s spoken after a few seconds of silence from Alex, and John actually doesn’t know how to respond to that. He goes with a shrug for the time being. He didn’t think that it made them anything, but he didn’t want to say that to Alex. 

 

“Do you want to be something?” John asks, honestly unsure of what Alex wanted from him. He was unsure of what he wanted himself. If anything, he was both asking himself and Alex. Was John even ready for some kind of pseudo long distance relationship? Would Alex even want to do that?

 

There isn’t even hesitation from Alex, and he nods with a quiet and barely audible, “Yeah, I think so.”

 

John isn’t sure what to say, but he decides to be honest with both himself and Alex here. He leans back in his chair, eyes set on his camera. It was the only way that he could look right at Alex without physically being there with him. 

 

“Me too.”


	14. Chapter Fourteen.

It’s the next day at school where John decides to break the news. He wanted to keep it private at for a while, but considering the conversations they previously had, he figured that he should at least tell Kennedy. John owed him that much. 

 

He doesn’t even wait until lunch to tell him actually. They had a math class together earlier in the day without Pat, and John wasn’t really ready to have Pat blab to the rest of their friends about these matters, not yet. This is why he decided to just tell Kennedy about what happened while they were in their Algebra 2 class, bored out of their minds and confused about the equations on the whiteboard. 

 

“Alex and I decided to date,” John spoke, not really giving the other boy any kind of warning before breaking this news. His hand was holding his head up, not even looking at the other boy. His tired eyes were on the board. Of course it would be a surprise to Kennedy, but he wasn’t sure if it was a good one. Especially when his friend suddenly drops his calculator, a loud clanking sound coming from it as the casing came off. It made head turns, and it made John roll his eyes.

 

“You  _ what _ ?!” Kennedy hisses as soon as nobody is looking, head whipping around to properly face John.

 

“Alex, you know, that cute boy from crab city. We’re dating now. We decided to last night,” John repeats, giving Ken a blank look. Algebra 2 was his least favorite class, so of course he was bored out of his mind even when talking about his love life. 

 

“I mean, congrats, but… why?” 

 

“Figured it’d be good to at least give it a chance. My only issue with it was distance, anyway, but we’re going to be at the same college in just a couple of months,” John shrugged as he looked at the board again. He thinks back to their conversation to distract from boring old Algebra, smiling to himself.

  
  


_ “How will this work?” John hopes that this question doesn’t come off as rude, but luckily Alex doesn’t seem too bothered by it. He only shrugs, and there’s this wide grin on his face, his funky teeth showing. He’s so cute and so precious to John, and maybe… just maybe, this would work out perfectly. They were going to college together soon, anyway, weren’t they? Alex didn’t know, but it was still happening. _

 

_ After some more tense silence, John finally speaks up again, this time with a single word that’s spoken as a question. _

 

_ “Boyfriends?” _

 

_ There’s this shy smile on his face, which is rare, because he isn’t one to get shy all that often. Alex seems to relax, his whole demeanor changing, and he sips up straight as he nods. “Boyfriends,” He confirms, and then he’s laughing. There’s no specific reason why he was, but he was just so relieved and full of this uncontainable joy. John joins in, and they’re happy together in that moment, laughing together and watching each other. _

 

“So you just gave him a chance?” Kennedy asks, still in shock, “I mean, that’s great and all, considering how much you were pining over him--”

 

“I wasn’t “pining” over him,” John weakly protests, “I was just… really concerned about him.”   
  
“John, look,” Kennedy starts, pretty much glaring at the love-struck boy sitting beside him, “You literally wouldn’t stop talking about him for over a week. Seriously, if anyone’s a master at pining, it’s you.”

 

That was true, even though John didn’t want to admit it. This wasn’t the first time he had crushed on somebody for a long, long time without making a move before it was way too late, but it  _ was  _ the first time he had done something about it.

 

“Dude, he’s right.”

 

It’s then that an underclassmen cuts in, one they talked to every once in a while but never really got to often because of conflicting schedules. John was cool with him and they maybe chatted at some parties when they could. John was pretty sure his name was Awsten, the spelling a little bit odd. As weird as it was, though, it somehow matched his oversized sweaters and the bright purple hair he rocked.

 

“Remember that one time you followed Otto around like a lost puppy?” Awsten laughs quietly as he mentions it - that douchebag - and then turns back around to face the front of the room before he got in trouble with their teacher. He wasn’t wrong. There had been a time when John was head over heels crushing on a boy that was friends with Awsten. 

 

John was pouting without even realizing it. He doesn’t reply to the Awsten or Kennedy, even when he mutters, “Dude, even I remember that.”

 

They were both assholes, he decides, and he spends the rest of the time in that class sulking in his seat while he doodles over the equations filling the paper in front of him.


	15. Chapter Fifteen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I ain't sorry.

Long distance, it turned out, wasn’t too bad. Sure, it did get hard when all they wanted to do was hug each other or lay with each other, but the feelings that they had overpowered the sad parts. John wasn’t sure what he had been so worried about when looked back on it. Maybe he had only been focused on the bad, and not on the good - like how he could tell Alex how beautiful his eyes were too, or how gorgeous he looked when he had just woken up and his hair was disheveled. 

 

It had been just barely three weeks since they had gotten together, and things were okay in John’s life for the time being. It was obvious to everybody that followed him on Twitter, too, his tweets becoming much happier. There were still depressing ones once in a while, but they were becoming a rare occurrence. He no longer cared about being the third wheel or not getting invited out on the weekends.

 

All in all, things were pretty alright so far.

 

It was a Friday night when Alex made a suggestion. They were on Skype, talking like they always did these days. The rest of their families were out either working or spending time with their own friends. It was a perfect opportunity to try something, Alex had casually said.

 

“You want to do what?” John asked again, shocked at what his boyfriend was suggesting they do. After all, he had taken the now blonde boy (he had recently dyed it) to be innocent as hell, but now he wasn’t so sure about that train of thought.

 

“Phone sex!” Alex spoke excitedly, his eyes even showing how hopeful he was that John would agree, “It’s like sexting but stronger.”

  
  


“But we haven’t ever sexted--”

 

“Shh, I don’t care. It’ll be worth it, I swear,” He was practically begging at this point, and the teenage boy in him was showing through.

 

“I mean, yeah, we can do it--”

 

“ _ Awesome _ . John, you won’t regret this, I literally swear on my left nut,” Alex jokes, but really, now was not the time. John rolls his eyes, and is quick to respond.

 

“Don’t you need that for this?”

  
  


“Dude, I’m not gonna cut it off and give it to you. Just… Just wait until we do this to see if it’s worth it or not,” Alex then lifted up his hand, his only finger being extended his pinkie. “Pinkie swear you’ll love it. You know I won’t break a pinkie swear.”

 

John rolls his eyes once, but he holds up his finger as well. It’s not like he was being forced into this (consent was important to the both of them, of course), he was mostly just messing with the blonde. Sure, he was nervous, but… he was curious as well. “Pinkie swear.”

 

After that, Alex leans his elbows on his desk. His eyes are hungry almost in the way he’s watching John. “So,” He begins, voice low, “Take your pants off for me. Slowly. Put on a show.”

 

The tone of his voice is strange, but not in a bad way. No, it has John twitching in his jeans, the way Alex speaks as if he’s in charge. “You wanna move the camera so I can see everything big guy?” Alex continues before John can get a word in or even stand up.  _ Yeah, smart,  _ John thinks,  _ it would be much easier to just move the camera.  _ It wasn’t thought of until Alex mentioned it, and now John is thankful. 

 

He listens to the suggestion – order? – and reaches his long arms forward. The computer is pulled closer to the edge of the desk, and he positions it so that his webcam is pointing more downward. Now, only the tip of his nose and down is visible. 

 

“Are you gonna do it too?” Is all John can muster up, not wanting to be the only one doing this. He’s nervous enough as it is, and it would make all of that even worse if he was the only one doing it. This was new to him, being so intimate with somebody. Alex would be his first, through a screen or not. 

 

It wasn’t even a question. Of course Alex was going to do it too - just after John. It wasn’t a “you do it first, I’ll follow sort of thing” either, just him wanting to take charge. “Duh, babe,” he responds smoothly, and John swears he sees a reassuring smile. 

 

With a nod, he turns his attention to getting these jeans off. They suddenly felt too tight and his face suddenly felt like it was on fire. He wriggles out of the denim, though not very gracefully, and when they’re pooled around his ankles his hand goes to his crotch. His long fingers run over the forming bulge, his attention completely on anything but Alex’s eyes. 

 

It’s not like he was really all that embarrassed - well, he was. He was just more shy than embarrassed. This  _ was _ his first time doing anything remotely sexual with anyone else, besides kissing. That was different, nowhere near as intimate… and he hasn’t even  _ kissed  _ Alex before. 

 

Plus, he didn’t really want to see Alex’s reaction when he saw his dick. What if it was bad? What if Alex saw it and then decided to call everything off? John didn’t exactly know how a dick could be “bad” but he was still worried about these things. After all, Alex seemed to be the type to know the difference between a good and bad dick, so he was concerned. He had every right to be in his opinion.

 

“Holy shit, Johnny…” Alex spoke, surprising John. He felt like his entire body was going to turn red at this point. He was scared of his voice coming out shaky when he spoke.

 

“Is it that bad?”

 

“Fuck, definitely not. Holy  _ shit _ ,” John could hear Alex’s breath from his speakers, hot and heavy. He could tell that, at least. It confirmed that Alex was, in fact, enjoying this so far. “How do you even fit all of that in your jeans?”

 

He swore he saw Alex’s hand disappear under his desk. 

 

“I- I just-”

 

“Fuck, never mind, just-- can we do this?”

 

John didn’t need to be asked twice. He rolled down his Calvins, exposing his length. It’s then when he hears Alex’s breath hitch again, face reddening. He’s getting worked up, and it’s obvious to the both of them. He leans back in his chair, and now John can see that he has himself exposed, hand working around his cock slowly, as if he was drawing this out; which he was, but his boyfriend didn’t need to know that little detail.

 

“Hey John, do you want to go get pi-- WHAT THE  _ FUCK _ ?” 

 

“Shit--” John barely had time to register what was going on, not hearing the door open up with his friend Garrett on the other side, but he tried to hide his bottom half as fast as he could and hang up. He was basically smacking his computer keyboard before giving up and slamming it shut. He didn’t need Garrett to see what he was doing, much less his boyfriend’s dick.

 

He wasn’t so lucky with the first half of that.

 

Needless to say, he was teased by two of his friends the whole night while they got pizza, and Alex was left not only hard and confused, but embarrassed once he received a text from John that read, “ _ I’m going to die. My friends came in to get me and drag me out to pizza and instead saw me WITH MY DICK OUT. _ ”

 

Alex would be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit disappointed, too. 


	16. Chapter Sixteen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garret is a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry for that long ass wait, holy shit. life is ugly and busy, y'all!  
> anyway, here's some drama and friendship.

John honestly should have expected that he wouldn’t hear the end of it. This was Garrett, for fuck’s sake. Once he has something to tease his friends about, he wouldn’t let it go for years. He wasn’t someone to just let things like that go. The two were sat in the car with Jared, Garrett still cackling as John sat in the back of the car with bright red cheeks.

 

“Dude, you shoulda seen it! He was so fuckin’ embarrassed! I’ve never seen someone shut a laptop as fast as he did!”  
  
“You’re one to talk, G. You’re the one who got caught masturbating to slave Leia,” Jared sighed, trying to defend John, but he was laughing harder than he ever had in his entire life. With how close John and Jared were, this wasn’t the first time that the former had been caught in a situation like this. A masturbation situation.

 

He was still scarred.

 

Either way, he would defend John, but not to the ends of the Earth with this topic. He would definitely still tease John when the two were alone.

 

“Dude, I was 14! What else was I going to beat my meat with?!”

“Uh, I don’t know, something normal?” John interjected from the back seat, trying to gain some of his pride back. That was going to be hard at this point.

 

“You both know that millions of other nerds have done it at this point. It’s been what, 40 years? I’m not the first, and I’m definitely not gonna be the last.”

 

“Can we please stop talking about jacking off to Star Wars?” Jared suddenly spoke up again. He heard enough about Star Wars, and he didn’t need to hear about it now and in this particular context.

 

“Fine, but Garrett has to stop reminding me of what he saw me doing every five seconds.”

 

“You buy me a pizza and we’re even,” Garrett bargained, but muttered, “Not like it’s going to erase the image of your penis from my brain.”

 

John pretended not to hear the second part.

 

The three of them sat in silence for the majority of the drive, but there were jokes from Garrett here and there. John was thankful for it, because he hated awkward silences.

 

Once they arrived and parked, they made their way into the pizza parlour where Pat and Kennedy sat in a booth. They were all at the point of friendship where it didn’t matter if a casual date was interrupted, and so they all squeezed into the booth.

 

John was so grateful that his cheeks were finally a normal color again, until Garrett suddenly exclaimed, “Guys, you won’t _believe_ what I just saw.”

 

A groan came from the older redhead in the group, and John’s eyes narrowed as he hissed, “We just made a deal! Traitor!”

 

That didn’t stop Garrett. Apparently, nothing did. The slender boy didn’t even try to pay attention to the words being said as he abruptly stood, whisking around and storming out the doors again. He just wanted a peaceful dinner with his best friends, but it was obvious that wasn’t going to happen today.

 

John wasn’t outside long before he saw Ken walk out, his eyes wide. He wasn’t completely sure what was going on, but he was pretty damn concerned.

 

“You alright man?” He asked, crossing his arms as he walked closer to him.

 

“Yeah, just... Garrett being a dick.”  
  
“What about it? Seems pretty normal for him.”

 

“He walked in on me and Alex having phone sex. Or at least trying to. We didn’t get that far before we were interrupted…”

 

“John?” Kennedy asked, voice full of worry. walking closer as he gave a concerned look to John. “You know he’s probably just jealous, right?”

 

“Of who? Does he want to--”

 

“No, not that you’re taken. He’s never been in a real relationship before and, y’know, you have Alex, Pat and I are together, Jared’s with Tessa, so…”

 

“So he feels left out?”

 

“Yeah, more or less,” Ken shrugs, and then takes his eyes off of John. He wasn’t one hundred percent sure that this was what was happening, but it was most likely why Garrett felt the need to be such a dick about the situation that John was clearly uncomfortable about.

 

John could understand that. He used to feel the same way.

 

The two stood outside the pizza parlour in a comfortable silence, and then John was brought out of his thoughts by his best friend pulling him in for a hug. It’s tight, but he doesn’t even try to complain. He accepts it and wraps his arms back around Ken’s waist, a small smile appearing on his face.

 

Pat steps outside moments later, two pizza boxes in hand. Jared and Garrett were nowhere to be seen. Before anything can be asked, Pat speaks up, making Kennedy pull away from the hug.

 

“So…” he starts, “J and Gar are going to stay and have some pizza, but I figured maybe you two would want to go back to my place.”

 

He’s smiling, but then again he’s always smiling. It’s like it’s permanently etched onto his face. He was pretty happy about everything, what seemed to be all the time.

 

Actually, that seemed to be a normal Kirch trait. Whenever the other boys was around they were all smiles constantly. Pat and his mom were the usual culprits, always smiling, laughing, and overall nice to be around. He could see why Kennedy would so easily fall for a family (and mainly a boy) who was so incredibly happy.

 

With this in mind, John nodded in agreement. He knew Kennedy was in, so it was all up to him.

 

The three of them were in Pat’s car in no time, John in the back seat once more. He never minded, and he honestly didn’t feel like a third wheel since he had gotten with Alex.

 

_Alex._

 

He suddenly remembered that they hadn’t talked, and he reached into his pocket to see if he brought his phone along. Luckily, he felt it, and so he grabbed it and unlocked it as quickly as he could. iMessage was open in no time, a text from Alex sitting and waiting for him.

 

**_my dick is sad_ **

 

He couldn’t help the round of laughter that escaped, and he chose to ignore the curious and knowing looks he received from the front seats.

 

_I’m sorry, love._

_G was being a dick._

_I had to tend to his pizza cravings._

 

**_what about my dick cravings?????_ **

 

_Dick cravings?_

_At least you can’t expose me to everyone I know if I don’t do everything you say._

_I think._

 

**_oooooo yeah yikes that’s pretty bad_ **

 

_He was being an asshole when we went out anyway._

_So no pizza for him._

_And now I’m with Pat and Kenny like the third wheel I was born to be!! <3 <3 _

  


**_fuck him up boo_ **

**_get me some pizza i’m lonely and i’m better than him_ **

 

_When we meet you’ll get all the pizza and dick you want._

_Hey, we just got to Pat’s._

_Can I call you later?_

 

**_yeah, duh it’s just me and myself and my dog here tonight so calling would be beyond dope_ **

 

 

_Maybe this time nobody will walk in on us._

_;)_

_Xo._


	17. Chapter Seventeen.

A few minutes later, the three of them arrived at the Kirch household. John got out of the car last, grabbing the pizza boxes that he ended up with and following his friends to the door. Pat was the one to let them in, holding the door open for John.

 

“Mom! John and Kenny are over!” Pat yelled, add something here

 

It didn’t take long for Mama Kirch to enter the room, giving Kennedy and John hugs. They both felt as if they could snap in half with how tightly she squeezed the both of them.

 

“Boys! I’m so happy to see you!,” She turned to Kennedy, beaming, “How long has it been since you were here last Kennedy?”   
  
“Uh… two days, I think?” he shrugged, unsure of how she could forget that he was literally here almost every single day, but he was grinning nevertheless. 

 

“Oh, and look at you, John! You look so handsome! And happy! Have someone new in your life?” She lightly elbowed John, and suddenly he remembered that she had some sort of intuition on these types of things. 

 

“I do, actually-” 

 

She gasped, cutting him off, before she reaches up to grab his bony shoulders. “Oh, my! Look how much you’ve grown up!” Once she let go, she clasped her hands, looking at the three boys awkwardly standing in front of her. John is surprised she doesn’t try to pinch his cheeks, at this point.

 

“Tim is in the living room. He’s watching some show he likes… it’s about some office or something, I believe. It’s silly.”

 

Her innocence made them all laugh, and they talked with her for a few more minutes before they grabbed plates and made their way to Pat’s room. It was surprisingly clean, but John knew that sometimes Kennedy stress cleaned. It could have been a result of that. That, or Mama Kirch was cracking down on him since he was getting older and had no real excuse not to clean.

 

The three of them ate with music playing in the background on Pat’s computer, some shitty pop punk band John wouldn’t be able to name for the life of him. It was peaceful, but there were too many things on his mind. 

 

_Garrett_. 

 

Would their friendship be okay? This was only a small bump in the road, right? 

 

_Alex_.

 

He missed Alex. He wanted to meet Alex. He longed for those soft kisses and the hugs, the late nights laying under the stars together while they talked about bullshit. 

 

_Kenned_ y.

 

Kennedy who wasn’t eating, only taking the smallest of bites out of his pizza and avoiding eye contact with John. Did his boyfriend know about everything that was going on? He eyed Pat slowly, trying to see if the younger boy realized what was going on. The long haired boy seemed have it covered, trying to talk to Kennedy and distract him from his own thoughts. It was times like this that John didn’t mind being left out. 

 

He fished his phone from his pocket again as he chewed on his pizza, immediately typing out a new message to Alex. 

 

_ I’m here.  _

_ I’m eating pizza. _

 

He takes a quick picture and sends it, ignoring the quiet talking behind him. He can hear a faint “fuck him!” coming from Pat, and while John’s eyes widen for a second, he chooses to ultimately ignore it. This wasn’t really his business. 

 

_ Pat just said fuck. _

  
  


**_let pat say fuck._ **

  
  


Of course that was the text that Alex chose to respond to. He pouts, and snaps another picture - or five, maybe, because he’s a big baby - of him pouting. They send in less than a minute, and John stares at the phone waiting for a response.

 

**_ooooo naughty bby_ **

  
  


_ Thanks??? _

_ Gee, I can’t believe my boyfriend thinks I’m soooo sexy! _

_ Wow, John! You’re GORG. _

 

**_hell yeah hot stuff_ **

**_wait of course i think you’re sexy we almost fucked_ **

**_well kinda fucked_ **

**_you know what i mean_ **

  
  


_ Do I? _

 

**_I mean….._ **

**_we did the kinda fuckin we can do from far away_ **

**_I think it counts_ **

  
  


_ Just come to Chandler and kiss me already. _

_ Then fuck me. _

 

John didn’t mean to let it slip that he lives in Chandler, considering he wanted everything to be a surprise. He was kind of panicking, and he knew that Kennedy and Pat would most likely realize.

  
  


**_wait, is that where you live??_ **

**_Chandler???_ **

**_sounds like a character from friends_ **

 

_ He is, I think. _

  
  


**_dude, you should come to asu_ **

**_I’ll be there_ **

**_we can meet up, hang out, maybe do all the shit fr_ **

  
  


_ Oh.  _

_ Maybe. _

_ Gotta go, Ken needs me. _

_ Still gonna call later. _

 

John was quick to hide his phone after that, not bothering to look at whatever Alex decided to respond with. He felt a little guilty that he didn’t just outright say what he was going to the same school, but he also didn’t want to spoil the surprise. He thought that it was romantic, but maybe his boyfriend wouldn’t feel the same way about it. Kennedy made him rethink it after scolding him the first time, and that surely didn’t help. He was torn, and he groaned as he pushed his hair out of his face. 

 

Kennedy and Pat were laying back on the bed and exchanging quiet words when John looked up from his spot on the floor, and so he stood. Things seemed to be okay with them so he wasn’t concerned about Kennedy as much anymore, and decided to clear his throat. 

 

“Hey, I’ll leave you two to… y’know. Do whatever it is you two do when you’re alone.” He winked jokingly, praying to himself that they wouldn’t notice his mood shift, and then put his plate on top of Pat’s on the desk. He was a lazy motherfucker and he knew that it would be dealt with later.

 

Pat makes a face at the comment, sitting up just so he can cross his arms. “Hey!” He protests, “We don’t--”

 

John doesn’t get to hear the rest of the sentence, but he knew where his friend was going with it. He also knew that they did, in fact, fuck. He wasn’t always asleep at sleepovers when they thought that he was. 

 

Needless to say, he was traumatized. 

 

He was thinking about the last time it happened when he ran into something - no, someone. Tim, Pat’s older brother (and also John’s ex-boyfriend but he doesn’t really like to talk about it) had been standing at the end of the hallway and looking into the kitchen. He seemed to have been supervising his girlfriend and her cooking, but he stumbled forward before immediately turning to face John, eyes wide. 

 

They seem to soften when he notices it’s just John, and a round of laughter escapes. “Well, that’s quite the way to say hi.”

 

John can’t help but blush, but he says nothing. He chooses to push past Tim and to the door, not wanting to have something else to deal with. He has enough on his plate already, enough to deal with. 

 

He forgets to call Alex that night, and instead falls right asleep when his head hits his pillow.


	18. Chapter Eighteen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> v short filler & cliffhanger. :)

John should’ve known that not calling Alex would cause issues. 

 

He also should have known that ignoring Alex and not telling him things would, too. 

 

And really, it’s not that Alex wasn’t understanding or anything. Because he was. Alex was very understanding and probably the best human being on this fucking planet, but even the best people had a point of no return. 

 

It started when John called two whole days later, apologizing profusely. Which was fine.

 

Really, it was.

 

Alex totally wasn’t mad at all. 

 

Okay, that’s a lie, but only sort of. Alex was furious. He didn’t like being ignored, but when John let everything out, he was just done. They were on the phone for a while, talking out what had happened and trying to catch up. 

 

And then John had let it slip that he was going to Arizona State University. 

 

And he let Alex be sad he wouldn’t ever meet John and excited to just be in the same fucking state, when they would be on the same  _ campus _ . They could be roommates, for fuck’s sake, and John just said nothing and let Alex go about the conversations. 

 

At least Alex knew now that this was why John acted strangely whenever ASU was mentioned.

 

That was their last conversation as boyfriends.

  
  



	19. Chapter Nineteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like this chapter and I feel shitty about my writing, but maybe I'm just nitpicking.

With college and graduation to focus on, both John and Alex couldn’t let their breakup ruin all they had going for them. They were both still hurt from it, and of course sad, but everything happened all at once and before either of them knew they were off to ASU with the hopes of not running into each other. 

 

John was moving in to his  dorm room with the help of his friends; this included Garrett, since they had talked it out shortly after Alex was out of the picture. Ken and Pat were having a hushed conversation in front of the door (John had his own room, but shared a common area with his roommate), hands laced together. 

 

Jared was helping Garrett and John’s mother, the three struggling to carry the box with all of the books inside of it.  

 

“Why do you even need all of these Johnno?” Jared spoke, his voice slightly strained from carrying the heavy box that he was helping carry.

 

Garrett was the next to speak up, scratching his head. His hair had become long and messy lately, seemingly like he didn’t like to take care of it anymore. “Besides, what’ll your roommate think? Wait, do you even know who you’re rooming with? Have you even checked?”

 

John shook his head. He never checked the website with the information about his dorm after he signed the agreement, so he was in the dark about the boy in the room next door. All he knew was that whoever it was had already moved in, and had bought some stuff for their shared area. Including a TV. That was pretty sweet.

 

“No, but he probably won’t even see all of them. I have my own room and he has his, so…” The lanky boy knew it sounded rude, and also pretty introverted, but it was kind of true.

 

Jared and Garrett both sighed, but of course Garrett added more dramatics. He wasn’t exactly excited to even be there in the first place, so it’s not like he was really up to deal with John’s shenanigans today it seemed.

 

At the mention of a roommate, John’s lips turned downward. Him and Jared were the only two going to ASU, and them and Kennedy were the only three choosing to go to college at all - though, the latter opted for online classes because of his family - and he really wanted to have Jared as a roomie. They had both forgotten to sign each other up before the deadline.

 

Maybe rooming with a random wouldn’t be so bad. He could only hope that they got along, or at least ignored each other in a peaceful way. 

 

Was that possible?

 

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by a loud crashing noise, and when he turns around he’s met with the box of books on the floor, alongside his desk lamp. Needless to say, there’s glass and plastic on the floor and John can’t help but press his fingers to his head and shake it. There’s a sigh, and he asks, “Really?” 

 

John’s mom offers an apologetic smile, and he offers a tight-lipped one back. This probably wasn’t even her fault. His friends are just dumb, and he’s convinced they share a collective four brain cells.

 

“Uh… sorry, man,” Jared sounds sorry enough, so it’s fine. He gets a pat on the back, and then Garrett opens his mouth again. 

 

“We’ll go get you a new one! Seriously! But you better Venmo me the money.”

 

Whatever, John decides. It’s not like today could get anymore hectic or worse. He watches Garrett leave, Jared hot on his heels with a quick, “We’ll be right back, can’t let G go alone!”

 

He agrees. Garrett can’t even be trusted to wear good shoes most of the time.

 

When he turns back to his mom again, her arms are stretched out for a hug. He doesn’t hesitate to hug her, squeezing her as hard as possible without hurting her. John isn’t far from home, maybe an hour or something like that, and he will definitely be coming home often enough, but he really loves his family. He loves his mom especially and he might even admit that he would miss her. 

 

“I love you, John. You better behave, stay safe, and don’t party too much. You need to keep the rest of your teeth real,” Jenny says when the hug is over, her pointer finger held up in a threatening manner. She’s also definitely bringing up the time when he fell and broke four of his teeth and she had to pay for those fakes. 

 

He still feels bad about it and won’t be partying that hard again anytime soon.

 

John nods and lets his mom kiss his cheek for once without any complaints, and then they say their goodbyes. He almost cries when she does and when she starts talking about he she loves him and she’s proud. 

 

He _totally_ doesn’t cry when she leaves and Kennedy and Pat come in, similar sad smiles on their faces. 

 

“Hey, we’re going to head out now and catch a ride with Jenny,” Pat says quietly, as if he feels bad, which he probably does, “You better keep in touch, okay?”

 

John wipes the tears from his face as he nods and then hugs them both at once, both of them yelping since they didn’t expect it. After all, he isn’t usually the one to initiate their hugs. They accept it, of course, and the three of them stand in silence hugging for a while. John has a little tugging feeling in his chest thinking about living even just an hour from them, especially Kennedy - now they’ll rarely be able to drop everything and smoke and cry over life.

 

When they pull away, Kennedy makes a point to grab John’s shoulder as hard as he could, and with tears in his eyes and a serious tone in his voice says, “You better wait for that tattoo you want. We’re getting some together.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll wait,” John agrees, and then suddenly they’re leaving, too. 

 

He sighs as he gets down on his knees and begins to very carefully clean up the plastic and glass, and it’s as if things couldn’t get any worse than they are right now. He’s wrong. Extremely wrong.

 

The front door opens and there’s footsteps, and John considers getting up and greeting his roommate, but he doesn’t want to forget about all these tiny pieces of glass left on the floor. He also doesn’t want this dude seeing all of his books laying all over the place, but when the footsteps get closer it’s inevitable.

 

“Oh, damn, what happened in here?”

 

The voice is familiar. Scarily familiar. John freezes, but then slowly reaches over to toss the pieces of plastic currently in his hand into the garbage can next to his bed. 

 

He regrets turning around.


	20. Chapter Twenty.

Something about seeing the blonde’s face here in this room made John irrationally mad. Maybe it was the fact that he never really got to process Alex breaking up with him, or maybe it was just the latter by itself. 

 

It just had to be some sort of cruel hand that fate had given to him, getting the boy he had just lost as his roommate. Alex was just as mad, too, so it wasn’t like they would ever get together again, or even be friendly again.

 

Either way, the lovers reversed only brought pain, and now once again it was in the cards for the brunette to continue to suffer this way. He had no time to process what happened between the two of them -- no closure, no kind of release, nothing. There were only late nights thinking about what he did wrong.

 

Which, in retrospect, must have been a lot. 

 

...And then there was the fact that he just might have gotten back together with Tim between everything, and that wasn’t going to be fun to have Alex find out. Not like it was a serious relationship, just ‘hey, I’m lonely you’re lonely let’s go out for a bit’ type of thing, but it was still a bad situation added in and Alex would definitely hate it if he found it. 

 

As soon as John forced himself to turn all the way around, Alex scowled, face going bright red. Like John assumed, he was still beyond pissed. 

 

For good reason.

 

Alex said nothing, choosing to instead turn around and storm out of John’s room and to his own, making sure to knock over the bookcase that was just assembled to show just how mad he was. 

 

This wasn’t going to be pretty.

 

As soon as the door slammed, the front door to the entire dorm opened and Garrett and Jared stepped inside, a desk lamp similar to the one broken in hand. 

 

“We went to Walmart!” Garrett said way too cheerfully, holding up the blue lamp. He walked to John’s room and sat it on the edge of the desk, before the redhead pushed it toward the middle. They didn’t need another broken one.

 

“He also had a redbull and a half…” Jared sighed, rubbing his face slowly. He had clearly had enough of this for today.

 

John’s eyes are still wide from shock. He’s staring blankly at the plastic left on the floor, a clear indication that something had happened while they were gone.

 

“What? Did something else happen?” Jared was the first to ask, kneeling down beside his best friend to pick up the last pieces, concerned eyes on John.

 

There’s silence, and then, “Alex is my roommate…”   
  
“Wait, like  _ Alex _ Alex? The one you phone fucked before pizza?” Garrett says, before thinking about it and adding, “ _ Almost _ phone fucked?” 

 

Jared elbows him in the side as hard as possible, a grunt the result.

 

There’s no other response from John, merely a quick nod.

 

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” Garrett practically yells, once again earning an elbow from Jared. It wouldn’t be good if Alex overheard them talking about him like this. Or at all. 

 

“Dude, I don’t want the entire hall to know, much less Alex to know that you guys know…”

 

“But you’re okay right?” Jared’s eyes had softened and he placed a comforting hand on the other boy’s shoulder.

 

“I mean, I’m a little traumatized, but I guess it’s something I can get over--”   
  
“Good! We’ll just be off then!”    
  
“Wait, seriously? You’re leaving me here alone with him?” John’s jaw dropped, and he finally looked up at the way-too-hyper friend that was now heading for the door.   
  
“John, we’re not going to sit here and deal with the problems between you and your old dick appointment.” 

 

The only response from John is a grunt. He stands, and hugs Jared, but makes a point not to hug the other boy in the room. Garrett gets a wave goodbye before disappearing into the hall. 

 

Jared sticks around for a minute, giving John the most reassuring smile he can manage. “We love you, J. We do. This is just something you need to resolve yourself. You know we’re only a text and call away for support, okay?”

 

With a nod, John sighs out, “Yeah. Okay. I’ll see you next weekend, right?”

 

“Of course.”

 

There’s one more hug exchanged, and then John is left alone. Or, alone with a roommate that hates his guts and will probably transfer as soon as he possibly can. He tries to block out the angry pop punk music playing from across the dorm as he picks his bookshelf up, and begins to unpack his belongings.

 

It was going to be a hell of a semester. 

 


	21. Chapter Twenty One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little messy and definitely jumps around, but we're getting somewhere. And hey! After this we'll have a nice lil Callakarth sequel with the boys.

The first week of the semester wasn’t the worst. 

 

Sure, it was painful to live with Alex and be literally ignored by him constantly, but it could have been a lot worse. There could have been switching to an entirely different room and having to move all over again, complaints to an RA or even fights, but there was nothing. Just… silence. With a side of loud angry music that could be heard through the walls.

 

“Hey, Alex,” John tried for what seemed to be the hundredth time, “How were your classes today? You had that one space science class, right?” He was sat on one of the chairs in their dining area, the blonde boy with his back to John seeing as he making some coffee. He always made John a cup too for some reason, pissed or not.

 

He said nothing as he sat John’s black coffee in front of him, and then quickly turned and went back to his room. He slammed it and John could hear the extra lock click into place.

 

Great.

 

It had been going just like this for a week and until now it had barely gotten to John. Now, for some reason, a soft sob is leaving his lips and before he knew it he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing freely. He shoves the coffee to the other side of the table so that he could rest his head on it, not even trying to stop this. He always heard that he should feel things and now he’s letting himself do just that.

 

There’s no shuffling from Alex’s room like there normally is, just a pause. It sounds like footsteps go to the door and then retreat, and after a couple seconds the music starts. It’s playing softer than normal, and John can just barely make out that it’s December by Neck Deep.

 

Talk about adding salt to the wound.

 

He needs to get out of there.

 

That’s just what he does, standing up so fast he thinks he gives himself whiplash, or whatever they called it these days. He basically runs out the door, not caring that it slams shut behind him. Maybe that would finally get the blonde’s attention. Maybe it would just be ignored. Again.

 

Who’s to say.

 

 

\----------------

 

 

When John comes back, it’s silent in their dorm. There isn’t any music, and when he stands completely still he doesn’t hear shuffling, or typing, or anything at all. It’s completely dark, not even the light above the sink is on like it usually is. Frowning, the green eyed boy makes his way to the light switch and turns it on.

 

The first thing he notices is that his door is cracked open, which is strange. He doesn’t remember leaving it like that. He decides to investigate, taking his shoes off and placing them next to the door before pushing it open the rest of the way.

 

Nothing is out of place, but his blanket is messed up. It’s as if it was slept on recently. 

  
  


 

\----------------

  
  


“Alex?”

 

John doesn’t expect any type of reaction from the boy in question, but he needs to ask about what he found earlier. He has his suspicions, but maybe he was just imagining things. Or wishing for things.

 

He clears his throat, before continuing, “Was someone sleeping in my bed? Or in my room?”

 

“Now, where would you get that idea?”

 

John’s eyes go wide and his jaw drops when he hears Alex’s voice, surprisingly calm. He’s not sure what to say in response that, and sure as hell not sure if he could actually respond even though he wants to. 

 

Alex glances at John as he makes his sandwich, barely paying attention as he smooths out the peanut butter over the bread. He doesn’t roll his eyes, even though he wants to, instead opting to say just as smoothly and in a voice so smooth anybody would be to tell he’s pissed, “Maybe you should shut your mouth before you catch a fly.”

 

John’s mouth is shut in milliseconds, and he almost instantly decides that he’s done playing this game. He goes right back to reading his book and miraculously doesn't look at Alex or talk to him again for the rest of the night.

  
  


  
\----------------

 

 

“You’re what?”

 

“I said that I’m breaking up with you.”

 

John rolls his eyes as he lets the news out, sitting down on the chair in front of his desk. Tim is stood in the doorway with his arms crossed and a shocked look on his face.

 

“I mean, it’s hardly breaking up. We’re not _actually_ dating, remember? Plus, Tim, I’m too stressed. I don’t need to worry about sex and my friend’s brother constantly expecting it from me when some days I can’t even get out of bed,” John continues, or rants, really. He barely notices that the boy he really loves is emerging from his room. He’s going to the space science class he hates so much. He seems to stop, though, and he’s listening in on this. It’s obvious.

 

“So we’re breaking up because you can’t get your depressed ass out of your fuckin’ bed. Nice, John,” Tim spits out, throwing a glare directly at John. It’s the kind of glare that makes John realize why he didn’t really want to be with Tim in the first place. He was tired of that shit.

 

The next reminder comes when Tim’s fist meets the wall next to the door, a loud bang ringing through the entire room. John jumps in his seat, and before he can stand or get a word out a very pissed off Alex pops up behind Tim. He reaches up and grabs the older man’s shoulder, pulling him backward.

 

“Get out, jackass,” Alex basically growls, and he’s angrier than he ever was with John at any time. “This is my fucking dorm too, and I’m not here for angry manchildren taking over the space.”

 

One more glare is thrown at John, and a, “You’ll regret this.”

 

John really wouldn’t.

 

Once the door is slammed shut - that poor door - Alex is left standing in front of John. Poor, slightly terrified John, his eyes wide and filled with tears threatening to spill.

 

“Look, I only did that because… because I don’t want to pay for damages. Okay?” 

 

Alex wouldn’t be the one paying for the damages, but John doesn’t say that. He simply nods, wiping his eyes. After one more sigh, and a one-over to make sure that nothing was wrong with the wall (and a couple minutes just to see that the manchild didn’t return) Alex is on his way.

 

John almost misses his last words, which come out kinder.

 

“We’ll talk later, okay?”

 


	22. Chapter Twenty Two.

Those four words linger in the back of John’s mind for the next couple hours, especially while he sits in his composition class. He can’t focus, and he takes to doodling in his notebook until he’s let out of class, where he immediately reaches for his phone. It’s been a while since he’s tweeted, so he types one out and sends it without thinking.

 

**_@johnmaine_ ** _ : _

_ This is your brain speaking, I advise you not to worry. _

 

On his way back to the dorm, he’s at war with his mind. Should he text Alex? Did the other have his number blocked? Should he just… wait to see what happens? As soon as he opens his messages, he gets one from the boy he that was causing all this anxiety. He sits on a bench that’s in his path to reply.

 

**_let’s meet up. know anywhere?_ **

  
  


_ There’s a cool coffee place down the street. _

_ On the left, next to the science building.  _

_ They have good lattes. _

 

**_of course you found the #edgy coffee/tea whatever place._ **

**_the grind?_ **

**_yeah, meet me there in a couple minutes. i know y_ _ou’re out of class_ **

 

_ How do you know that I’m out of class? _

  
  


John stays sitting down for a couple minutes, going back and forth between looking at his phone and watching people walk by, but soon he realizes he’s not going to get an answer. Of course he isn’t. He isn't even sure why he expected one in the first place. He’ll just have to assume Alex paid attention to the times he leaves and comes back, just like he does.

 

Letting out a huff, he stands from the bench and goes to pocket his phone. At least, he tries to, when it vibrates to indicate a new notification. He pauses, looking down.

 

**_do you want bubble tea?_ **

 

It makes John smile almost immediately, replying with a quick yes. He never actually had it before, but he knew what it was. And Alex was offering, so he would be stupid to turn it down. After responding, he shoves his phone back into his pocket for real and starts the walk to the Grind.

 

Walking there place didn’t take very long, thankfully. It was close to his last class.

 

When he enters the small coffee shop, he almost instantly spots Alex already seated in the corner with two cups of bubble tea. John’s - the one he assumes is his since it’s across the table, anyway - is a different color than the other boy’s but he figures it has to do with the taste. The one between Alex’s hands is a weird green, and upon looking at it, there are small black things at the bottom. 

 

Sitting down in the seat straight across from Alex, the green-eyed boy examines his own drink. It looks like an iced coffee, but with those same things at the bottom - and with a wide straw. He furrows his brows and soon asks, “What are those?”

 

Alex looks like he’s trying not to laugh, though he lets out a soft snort.

 

“Have you never seen boba tea before?”

 

John feels stupid when he shakes his head. He had  _ heard _ of it before, not actually seen it in person.

 

“They’re pearls. Like... Tapioca pearls. They’re good, seriously. A little strange to get used to, yeah, but I dig it,” He pauses, and then continues with, “It’s not for everyone, so let me know if you don’t want it.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” He says softly, lifting his plastic cup up. He’s hesitant, but he soon starts drinking it - and yeah, it isn’t his thing. The tapioca sticks to his tongue in an uncomfortable way and the flavor of the tea is too sweet. He forces himself to keep drinking it, though, and when he sets the drink back down he forces a smile.

 

It really doesn’t last long.

 

Before he can stop himself he’s making a face and sticking his tongue out, one of the little balls of tapioca rolling off of it and bouncing off of the table before landing on the floor, next to his foot. His face goes bright red, and he pushes his hands in front of his face.

 

Alex, of course, is in hysterics. He’s laughing so hard that he almost falls off of his chair, smacking his hand down onto the table a couple of times. It makes John pull his hands off of his face, and yeah, he definitely can’t stop himself from laughing too. The blonde’s laughter is just so contagious and so beautiful and… it had been so long since he’s heard it.

 

John’s laughter dies down as he watches the way that Alex leans back in his chair, head tilted backward and mouth wide open as he laughs. Soon, way too soon in John’s opinion, he’s calm again and sitting normally, reaching up to wipe away the tears forming in his eyes.

 

“What are you staring at, J?” The nickname falls from Alex’s mouth before he even can stop it, but he tries to ignore it and mask it with a smirk. 

 

“Oh, I, uh. Uhm, nothing,” John mumbles.

 

Alex shrugs, knowing the answer. He’s just a smug son of a bitch. He clears his throat and basks in the silence for a moment before jumping right into the serious stuff.

 

“So, we need to talk.”

 

John’s only answer is a nod.

 

“I’ll start off with…. with the fact that I’m sorry. I was a little childish and petty. I just… think I was bitter. And mad. No, I know I was mad,” He glances to John before looking out the window, “I… I know you weren’t intentionally being private. You’re just closed off, and I couldn’t understand it.”

 

Another nod.

 

“But at the same time, John, you keep too much to yourself sometimes. You just need to let me in, you know? I adore you and all, but you gotta.”

 

When he looks back to John, the boy is drawing shapes on the table with his index finger. His brows are furrowed, but Alex knows that he’s listening by the hum he gets in return. He’s thinking, and it’s obvious.

 

“I… I’m sorry, Al,” He starts, almost whispering it, “I never… I never meant to hurt you or hide anything from you. Coming here and surprising you was meant to be romantic, but I think I just didn’t realize how harmful it was to you. And Tim? I was just so fuckin’ embarrassed about that relationship.”

 

John chuckles, and forces himself to make eye contact with Alex as he continues with an, “I’m sorry, I really am.”  

 

“I mean, the way we met was weird. I think I should have expected the whole shutting me out bulllshit. I forgive you, though, okay? Maybe… just maybe, we can make this work again. If we go slow and you don’t close yourself off,” There’s a hint of a smile, “And please, don’t surprise me like that again, even if you’re trying to be romantic.”

 

“I won’t. I think I learned my lesson.”

 

“So… do you want to try again? Without us being childish?”

 

“Yeah. Let’s try again.”

 

“And no dumb secrets?” Alex is grinning by now, all wide and toothy as he holds a pinkie out towards John. So much for not being childish.

 

Either way, John reaches out to wrap his own pinkie around Alex’s.

 

“No secrets.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter before the sequel! Thanks for all the support, y'all. :)


	23. Chapter Twenty Three/Epilogue.

The smell of popcorn drifts through the entire dorm and into John’s room, making him look up from the textbook sitting on his desk. He furrows his brows as leans back in his chair, looking through the open door. The first thing he sees is Alex humming to himself, hands on hs hips as he watches the microwave. 

 

It’s normal for his boyfriend to be making popcorn at eleven at night, so John shakes his head and goes back to studying, pushing his glasses up on his nose. They always slipped down, and Alex teased him for it. 

 

He’s interrupted when the microwave beeps, and then is followed by, “John! Get your skinny ass out here!”

 

Needless to say, he’s terrified. He’s out of his chair and slamming his book shut faster than ever before, setting his glasses on top of the now closed book. Making Alex wait isn’t a good idea, not when he’s probably being a needy little shit - not that John has a single problem with it. He actually kind of adores it.

 

“What’s up?” He asks as soon as he’s out of his room, walking over and setting a hand on Alex’s shoulder. He rubs it before slowly moving his arm down and around the smaller boy’s waist. 

 

A soft hum is the reply, a smile soon gracing Alex’s lips. 

 

“We’re going to watch the Office. It’s a disgrace that you’ve never seen it.”

 

With a shrug, John agrees. He doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into. 

 

\----------

 

A couple hours later, John and Alex are still sat on the latters bed. John’s long arm is around his boyfriend shoulder, and honestly, he stopped paying attention after three episodes. He just doesn’t understand the hype for this show, and he voices this without thinking. 

 

“What’s all the hype about this show?” He asks, tilting his head at Alex.

 

He’s met with a hard glare, and he doesn’t process it as he’s shoved off of the bed. Which really fucking hurts. Not only that, but the popcorn was on his lap, and now… well, when he opens his eyes and groans, it’s on this chest. And on the floor. And squished under him.

 

He closes his eyes and lets his head hit the ground again with a thump.

 

“Oh my god. Oh my god, Alex.”

 

He hears a giggle, and he feels Alex jump off of the bed and then climb onto John. And - oh, yeah, there it is. Alex is straddling John, and leaning down so their faces are inches from each other. When he opens his eyes the first thing he sees are Alex’s beautiful brown eyes, sparkling with playfulness. He wants to pout, but he can’t, because he isn’t hurt and god. His boyfriend is gorgeous. 

 

“That was rude, Al,” He whispers.

 

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have insulted the Office,” Is Alex’s reply, followed by laughter. John laughs too, nudging their noses together.

 

“Sorry, sorry.”

 

“It’s fine. I guess I still love you.”

 

A silence follows those words, those  _ beautiful  _ and  long awaited words, and then John is tilting his head up to press their lips together. It’s his way of silently returning those four words.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap! We'll be publishing a sequel shortly, so be on the lookout for that, yo!


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